When She Smiles
by xoChantelly
Summary: This is an All Human fic. Buffy is broken and homeless. Spike is healing and works at a homeless shelter for teens. Will Spike try to help her? Does she want his help? Are they both ready to put their heart out at the risk of it being broken again?
1. Chapter 1

_Prologue_

_Buffy sat on her bed as she continued to cry. This was the third time he had done this to her and she didn't know how much more she could take. Whenever something got rough between them, he always broke up with her. This time was different though. This time there wasn't going to be another chance. This time he left. She didn't know where he went, but she was going to find out._

_She stood up and went to her closet. She was in the middle of packing he suitcase when her mother burst through her door. "Mom! Don't you knock?"_

_"I just finished talking to your father and he..." Her eye shifted to the suitcase then back to her daughter. "Just what do you think you are doing?" She demanded._

_"I'm going to go find Angel. I need him mom. I need to see him."_

_"Oh no you're not, young lady! You're not leaving this house!"_

_"Gee, not even a minute and your already yelling." Buffy said sarcastically._

_"Your damn straight I'm yelling! Now answer me!"_

_"I'm going to go look for Angel." She said calmly. When she seen her mom open her mouth to speak, Buffy raised her hand. "Mom! You're not stopping me. You can't keep running my life like this. Whenever me and Angel fight it's because you and dad keep tormenting us! It's all your fault he left me all these times to begin with! Why can't you just let me be happy?"_

_"What? You think your little school girl crush on Angel is what makes you happy? He is trash Buffy! He is lower-class, you don't need him."_

_"So that's what it is huh? You don't think that he can support me? What if I want to support him? Did you ever think that maybe we had a plan?"_

_"You don't know what to do with your hair in the mornings. Hell, you can hardly pick which shoes you want in a store. How in the world are you going to make hard decisions later on in life when your husband has no money to take care of you? It's the man's responsibility!"_

_"What are you? Stuck in the 50's?" Buffy laughed. "Its modern day, mother, times have changed. The responsibilities are not split like they used to be. It's fifty-fifty. Give and take. Why can't you see that he makes me happy? Why can't you just let us be together?"_

_"My daughter is not going to 'set up "shack' with a low-life. Do you hear me? You can find better!" Joyce grabbed Buffy's wrist and pulled her down to her father's office. "Hank, talk some sense into your daughter. She seems to think she and Angel" her mother's pretty face contorted into a sneer "Can survive on their love for each other." She said and practically threw Buffy at her father._

_"Don't be an idiot Buffy, you were taught better." He said, hardly even looking up from the paper he was reading._

_"I didn't say that! She is putting words into my mouth. And don't call me an idiot dad. I'm not an idiot; you would know that if you took your head out of your corporate ass and paid attention to me!" Buffy screamed and swiped her arm across his desk, throwing everything on the surface to the floor._

_Hank stood up and grabbed Buffy's arms from across the desk. "Don't talk back to me little girl." He shook her. "Now, I have a meeting in the morning. I needed those files. Pick them up and put them back on my desk."_

_"Father." She said simply and shrugged his hands off. "In the words of Angel. Go. To. Hell."_

_Buffy didn't have enough time to register what had happened. She fell back onto the floor and brought her hand up to her burning cheek. She wouldn't have believed it happened, but the throbbing pain and the feel of her cold tear against the heated skin proved the moment true._

_Her own father had hit her and showed no remorse over it. Her emotional pain was almost as bad as her physical. "Are you serious?" Buffy said and stood up. Her father sat down and picked up his cigar off the fallen ashtray and lit it. "You just hit me and you look pleased with yourself."_

_"Well, it will teach you not to back talk to your father."_

_"No. You want to know what it taught me?" Buffy wiped the tears from her face, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of her pain. "It showed me I have an asshole of a father and a mother that either doesn't care enough to stand up to you for hitting me, or receives the same treatment." She turned to her mother and put her hands on her hips. "Is that right mom? Are you afraid that if_

_you stop him from 'punishing' me, you will get it twice as bad later?"_

_When her mother simply looked at her feet, Buffy scoffed. "Whatever. I'm out of here."_

_Buffy left her father's office and grabbed her jacket from the coat stand. She was reaching for the door when Joyce intercepted. She grabbed Buffy's wrist and spun her around forcefully. "What did didn't do a good enough job?" Buffy spat out the words angrily. "I'm leaving no matter what you say."_

_"Fine." Joyce let go of her wrist and crossed her arms over her chest. "If you leave, don't ever think about coming back."_

_It felt like her mother just stabbed a knife through her chest. Instead of showing her pain, she raised her chin defiantly and left, never looking back. _

Chapter 1

He woke up to the same rap crap he hears every morning, along with the hooting and hollering that came with just-woke-up teenager types. Every morning, around 10 o'clock, the first floor was filled with overly loud teens with horrible taste in music. Usually, he stayed in his bed, listening to all the conversations that were audible through the thin walls. Girls going on about who was with whom, and who was cuter than whom. The guys about different beers and the finer ways to hustle. Not this morning though. With a groan he threw the sheet back and flung his legs over the side of his bed. Today he had to go out on the streets, looking for troubled teens and the like.

He ran his hands over his face, through his unruly platinum hair, and let them rest at the nape of his neck. Taking a deep breath he sighed. "No need to buy an alarm clock, mate. One comes with the job." He stood up and went to get ready for the day.

_______________________

Showered and dressed, he made his way down the stairs into the horde of teens. "Yo, Spike! What's up man?" A fist was thrust in front of him.

Spike smiled and tapped his fist against the other. "Hey Gunn.'Bout to take a run outside, find some more kids."

Charles Gunn was a frequent at the house. Often there when his parents had a huge fight, or when he was locked out. Spike was never able to deny the kid. Spike found this out when the kid showed up on the doorstep in the pouring rain. It was after curfew, so Spike wasn't supposed to let him in, but he didn't have the heart to let the kid freeze out there. Charles, or "Gunn with two 'n's", was a big player on the street. Gangs and drugs were his scene. After 2 months of Gunn hanging at the house, Spike came to the conclusion that he was a good kid, just misguided.

"Cuz' there isn't enough around here already." Gunn laughed.

"What can I say? I like helpin' to keep you kids warm at night. I'm leaving you in charge, mate. Make sure my stuff stays in place, and not broken. Can't keep you guys warm if I have no more money due to replacing stuff, right?"

"Got it Captain." Gunn saluted and Spike smiled.

"Sppppiiiiikey!" He instantly stiffened up.

He looked at Gunn, fear written all over his face. He opened his mouth and whispered "Help me." pleadingly.

"Oh look at that." Gunn pointed at nothing at the far end of the room. "Gotta go!"

He groaned and slumped his shoulders. "Wanker."

"Spikey! I was hoping maybe you could take me to breakfast again. I just can't get enough of those... What are they called again?"

He turned towards her. "Harmony, I told you, not while I'm working." He took her hand and led her to the door.

"But I haven't seen you in like forever. I miss my Blondie Bear." She said with a frown.

"I'm busy this morning. You know that I work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays."

"So?"

"Harm, what day is it?"

"Wednesday"

"So what does that tell you?"

"That you're working."

"Now you're gettin' it! Tomorrow I will take you out to a nice dinner. How's that sound?"

"Fine! Sorry that I took time out of my busy schedule to come see you this morning." She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry Harm, but homeless teens need me more than you do right now." He stated dryly.

"You love your work more than you love me." There is that annoying pout.

"I love inanimate objects more than you." He whispered.

"What was that?"

"Oh just sad, cuz I don't have enough time to take my girl out." he mimicked her pout. "I promise. Tomorrow; You. Me. Nice fancy dinner. All on me." He smiled brightly.

"Fine. Only, no sex. You can't just ignore me for a week then expect me to fall all over you like some, rock star. Okay?" She jabbed her manicured finger into his peck.

"But, Harm..." 'Great, what's the point of taking her annoying self out then?' he added silently.

"No. You have to grovel mister!" She spun around quickly, slapping him in the face with her long blonde hair and stormed off.

He started off at her back and shook his head. "I don't know why I bother." Taking a breath of the morning air her turned around. "Alright, you lot! I'm going out for my rounds, Gunn's in charge. Remember the rules!"

He turned around and shut the door behind him.

________________________

Considering her shelter was nothing but an old shack in an abandoned alleyway, it held more heat than expected. The only part of her body that was cold was the tip of her nose. She hated that but she figured it was better than her whole body being cold.

Every morning was the same to her. Wake up to the loud noises of the city, put on her old t-shirt, sweater and jeans, top it off with her hole-y jacket, and go out to the park. She always stayed in the same spot, under a tree in front of the pretty fountain. Some days, she would just sit there; writing songs or poems, watching everyone go through their day as she watched on the sidelines. A nameless, faceless ghost.

Other days, she would lay her guitar case out and sing whatever came to mind. She had a good ear to music and she was thankfully, not too bad with her voice. She usually walked away at night with 100 - 150 dollars on a good day, paying for her dinner and breakfast for the next day. With the leftovers, she bought things that she needed like a new sweater or blanket; whatever she needed most.

She hated to busk, but it was all she could do right now. A 17 year old high school dropout, who couldn't shower everyday or make herself at least presentable. Anytime she went to get a job, the person behind the counter would look at her, scowl, then shoo her off like a bird. With no other options she had to do what she could. She placed her guitar case down and took out the guitar. She sat down then cracked her fingers to get them ready. Putting the strap over her shoulder, letting the guitar rest on her right thigh, she wondered how much money she could make today.

She always started out with the same song, no need to change the routine now. She slowly started to pluck out the chords, leading her into the first verse.

________________________

He parked his prized De Soto in the parking lot and jumped out. "Thank the lord for Starbucks." He said under his breath and went into the coffee shop.

He came out with his usual coffee with 2 creams, 1 sugar and a buttered onion bagel. He opened the door to his car and sat inside to eat his breakfast.

He opened the newspaper Gunn always left on his passenger seat and began to read about the good old Big Apple.

He was well into an article about a gang fight that went down in an old cemetery when he heard it. The faintest sound of a guitar and singer. Quickly he threw the paper down and locked his doors, following the sound to Central Park.

________________________

She wrote this song in the first week of being kicked out of her mother's house. She had no clue what she was doing or how she would survive, but she knew this was better than living in that hell hole.

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,_

_She felt it every day._

_And I couldn't help her,_

_I just watched her make the same mistakes again._

She scanned the park. Close to no one was there, which is why she usually started out with this song. It always loosened up her fingers and got her voice ready for the day. She let herself play and get lost in the song.

_What's wrong, what's wrong now?_

_Too many, too many problems._

_Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home._

_It's where she lies, broken inside._

_With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes._

_Broken inside._

_Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why._

_You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind._

_Be strong, be strong now._

_Too many, too many problems._

She went on singing the chorus and looked up. A man was standing in front of her with shocking platinum hair, and even more shocking blue eyes. Listening to her tale of woe thoughtfully. His gaze was so intense she had to look away. She averted her eyes to the guitar, watching her fingers play over the fret board and continued the song.

The second he caught her eye, he knew he wanted to help her. There was so much pain in her hazel eyes. He didn't care what he had to do, this girl wasn't going to be homeless anymore.

_Her feelings she hides._

_Her dreams she can't find._

_She's losing her mind._

_She's fallen behind._

_She can't find her place._

_She's losing her faith._

_She's fallen from grace._

_She's all over the place._

_Yeah,oh_

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home._

_It's where she lies, broken inside._

_With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes._

_Broken inside._

_She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah_

_She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah_

"That was nice, pet. you write that?" He asked and raised his scarred eyebrow.

"Yeah, I did." 'Don't talk to the beautiful stranger, don't talk to the beautiful stranger..." She thought to herself.

"I really liked it. I play the guitar too. What you got there?" He used his coffee filled hand to point at her guitar, raising the bagel that looked unbelievably scrumptious to his equally scrumptious lips.

"It's a Gibson.... Songmaker Series DSM Acoustic... obviously... Guitar... obviously..." She said shyly.

"'S nice, 'M more of a electric bloke myself. Can I see it?" He finished his last bite of the bagel and held out his hand for the guitar.

"Um.. No I don't think so." She shook her head and went to play another song.

"I wont steal it. Promise. Actually, if you like, I could take you to get some breakfast and you can tell me how you learnt to play so well." He slid his hands into his duster and rocked on the balls of his feet.

She looked up at him, her beautiful green eyes wide. "You." She pointed to the blonde stranger. "You want to buy me," She pointed to herself. "Buy me breakfast?"

"Why not? You seem like you could use it. And..." He let himself trail off, knowing he said the wrong thing when he seen the flicker of anger in her eyes.

"I don't need your pity, or your sympathy. Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be." She said and started to pack up her stuff.

"Where do you need to be, pet?"

"Somewhere… Somewhere that's… else." She flung the guitar case over her shoulder and started to walk down the path.

He quickly picked his pace up and walked beside her. "Look, I didn't mean it like that. I help my friend, Anne, run a sort of group home for homeless teens. Just with less rules. I just wanted to help you and..."

"I told you, I don't need your pity, your sympathy, and now I'm going to add on help. I'll be just fine on my own. I have been fine on my own for the last 6 months. So don't worry about me, because I will not be your charity case."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. It's just... Can I at least get your name?" He said and put him hand on her arm to stop her.

"It's Bu... It's Elizabeth." She lied.

"Ok, Elizabeth. My name is Spike. Here's my card, and

one of Anne's. If you ever need anything; a place to spend the night, some new clothes, some food. Give one of those numbers a call or just drop by." He held out the cards, watching her as she hesitantly took them.

"Fine. Just don't expect me to call... O-Or show up or anything." She said and shoved the cards in her pocket, starting up her fast walk again.

"Ok, no problem." He said and let his legs slow down so he was behind her. "Oh, and Elizabeth? I'm not going to give up on you." He said and smiled when her step faltered.

**The song is not mine. It is by Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Jackass!" She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Letting the guitar case hit the front of her legs as she walked. "Now I have to find a new spot... Jackass."

*But did you see his eyes? Damn, they like, see right through you... Even though they are evil... Evil eyes. And his cheekbones! So sexy... But evilly sexy...* She shook her head to shake his image away. "Stop thinking about the beautiful stranger. Stop thinking about beautiful Spike.* She was aimlessly walking around, thinking about him, when she came across another park. It was small, but she had never noticed it before. Sitting on one of the swings she pulled out her notebook and started to write.

________________________

"Hey, Anne. You ready to switch off for the night?" He asked smiling, as he walked through the door. "The bed is all made up for you. But I have a question... You think I could have Wednesday off? There's something I need to take care of."

"Hey to you to..." She said and smiled. "Wow, wait a minute. Did you just ask for time off?" She asked, looking at him like he had two heads.

"Uhh, yeah. Will that be a bother? Because if you want me to..."

"Spike. Go, have the day off. I just found it weird because you never ask for time off. I was beginning to think that you were just going to live here. It's about time you took some time for yourself. Take your girl out, you deserve it." She said with a beaming smile.

"Oh... Right... Harmony" He said with a cringe.

"Did you have another girl in mind? Of course I meant Harmony."

"Yeah, I will take her out. Thanks. Anything you want done today that I can do?"

"Uh, sure. I just got some new clothes. They' are all in the basement. I already washed them all, so all you have to do is fold them, sort them, and arrange them. Thanks Spike." She smiled at him then went to go cook some lunch.

He went down the stairs that lead to the basement. He pulled the chain to the light bulb, looked at the heaps of clothes on the table and let out a sigh. *A lot of clothes there, mate. Better get to work.*He thought to himself then started on his task.

He didn't quite know why he asked for time off so soon, but all he knew was that it was going to take a bit of persuading to get Elizabeth to agree to let him help her out. He had a couple of ideas, but nothing really stuck out in his mind. He didn't know exactly how he would react either, if he were in her shoes. New person, hell bent on helping him out. It would creep him out a little too. But he was hoping she would take a little leap of faith. It didn't look like she had much more to loose. He felt like a git thinking that way about her, but what else could he think? He didn't know her story.

For all he knew she could have been thrown out. A run away. A foster child who was tired of being thrown from place to place. She didn't look older than 18. He seen the pain that was held in her eyes. The way she looked like she was carrying the weight of a million different problems, but still going through her day the best she could. He enjoyed just listening to her sing as well. The song held such emotion that it moved something inside her. She needed to know that there was someone out there that could, would, and wanted to care about her. He already did care about her, and all he had to do was look in her eyes and he knew. He knew that he wasn't going to walk away from this the same.

He had finished folding and sorting the clothes on the tables. Clothes for boys, clothes for girls. He started to sort through the girls clothes when a thought struck him. Digging through the stacks, not caring if he had to refold it all, he looked for the warmest things he could. Guessing her size, he took out two hoodie sweaters, two long sleeve shirts, one short sleeved, a pair of jogging pants, and a pair of jeans. He threw it all into a grocery bag and set it aside. *This just might work.*

________________________

She figured it was well passed 5 in the afternoon so she stood up and headed to her alley. She didn't like to be out past dark in this city. She was still getting used to it. She didn't feel comfortable, considering she went from a small suburban town where everyone knew your name, to a big city that was always on the move and where no one paid attention to anyone other than their self.

She made very little money that day, due to her oddly strong desire to write another song, but she had enough for something to snack on. She went into a corner store and went to the back to get a bottle of water.

"Why don't you get some pop, pet? Looked like you wanted some." She stiffened, then groaned. Why must he torment her further?

"Can't afford it, besides water lasts longer." She replied back and started down the aisle towards the canned foods.

"Ah, I see. Well I could pay for it. If you want." Spike said and got three cans of Pepsi out then quickly caught up to her.

"No, thanks. I got it." She said looking at the canned food. Ravioli or beef stew?

"Okay, I understand. If there was one meal you could have right now what would it be?" He asked and stood beside her.

She turned to face him. "Why do you have to torment me? You're so upset that I rejected your offer to buy me a drink, so you try and rub it in my face that I can't have a nice warm dinner? Be still my heart!" She gasped and raised her hand to her chest.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"Well still. I don't like to think about things I can't have." She said and picked up both ravioli and beef stew. Pop off tops of course.

"Well, you could. If you stayed over at my house for the night. You could have a shower, wash your clothes, some television entertainment, a dinner of your choice in your belly, and best of all, a nice warm bed with clean sheets and blankets to sleep in. Not to mention the fluffy pillows." He smiled. When he noticed the fear in her eyes he quickly added. "With me on the couch, of course. In all my perfect gentlemanly-ness."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." She said quickly then sprinted to the cash register.

"And Why not?" He asked and stepped to the other register. "Marlboro reds please." He told the clerk and put the Pepsi cans on the counter.

"Because. I have nothing to give you in return." She said matter-of-factly.

"Don't want nothing in return, pet. Just want to help you out a little." He flashed her an award winning smile and paid off his total.

She swore her knees were going to give out when he smiled at her that way. She simply blushed, grabbed her bags, and rushed out of the store. Not looking back to see if he was following her, she ran to her alleyway. She slid open the cover and ducked inside, flopping down onto her bed. "Why won't he just leave me alone?" She asked herself and sat up.

She opened the bottle of water and took a big gulp. She flicked her lighter and lit the candles she had to brighten the place up a bit. Reaching into her backpack in the corner of the small shack, she pulled out a spoon and some left over crackers from the other day. She sat cross legged on her bed and popped off the lid of the beef stew. "Sweet meaty goodness." She sighed then spooned some into her mouth. She hated eating it cold, but it was all she could do until she could afford one of those camp stoves she seen other homeless people have.

She was half way done her can of stew when she heard a knock on the make-shift door. With a puzzled face she remained silent and hoped the person outside couldn't see the light from the candles from outside. She heard the knock again and she started to shake. *Oh god. Oh god. What if they want to kill me? I'm going to die. Please don't let me get hurt. Oh god.* She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched her knees to her chest.

"Elizabeth, luv. I know you're in there. Let me in please?"

She instantly stopped shaking and rolled her eyes. Part relieved and part pissed off, she got up and slid the door open and glared at him. "You scared the shit out of me you... you jerk!" She said and put her hands on her hips.

He saw the anger in her eyes and tried to hide his amusement. "Sorry, pet. I followed you back here. I figured you wanted some time to yourself, so i I went back to my car to get something for you." He said and held out a grocery bag to her.

"What is it?" She said sheepishly.

"Take it and find out." He smiled and pushed the bag at her a little further.

"What if I don't want to?"

"It's not going to bite. It's nothing bad. I told you I worked at a homeless shelter for teens. I saw these and thought of you, so I got them for you. Go on, take it."

"Will it shut you up?"

"For 5 minutes, at least."

She sighed and took the bag. She went to sit down again and he ducked in to follow her. She opened the bag and looked inside. Seeing new clothes she squealed and tore the bag open to get to them. She inspected each article of clothing as if it was going to disappear. After her inspection she laid them all out and broke out into a big smile. She really didn't care for what they looked like; she just finally had something different to put on! She looked up at Spike and lunged at him for a hug. "Thank you! You couldn't even begin to imagine how thankful I am, or how much this means to me!" She squeezed him tighter, loving how it felt to be in his strong arms.

She stayed hugging him for a little longer when reality hit her. She snapped her eyes open and gasped, quickly letting go of him. "Sorry, don't know what came over me."

"I would think its happiness, judging by your smile. And it's no bother, pet. I think that's the first real smile I've seen on your beautiful face." He smiled and let his hand tenderly put a stand of her hair behind her ear.

"Are you kidding me? I look horrible, not to mention the way I must smell. You can't possibly mean that." She said suddenly feeling self conscious. She backed up more.

"I have no reason to lie to you. I wouldn't lie to you. You are beautiful, pet." He smiled.

"Thanks..." She said softly while looking at the floor.

"Now, want to do me a favor?" She slapped his hands together.

"Depends on what it is." She said looking up at him a little scared of what he was going to say.

"Well, a way to show that your thankful for my gift... You could come spend the night at my apartment. I'm not trying to get you to do anything you don't want. I just want to see that you are safe. Please, it would make me feel better."

"Why would a homeless teen that could rob you blind in the middle of the night while you sleep, staying at your home make you feel better?"

"I think I can trust you. If you wanted to rob me, I wouldn't of had to ask you this many times. You would have been on board the first time. It would make me feel better knowing you were safe. I care about you."

"It could be putting up a front. Lulling you into a false sense of security... Wait a sec', you care about me?" She looked at him, trying to see the truth in his eyes.

"I don't think it is. Yes I do care about you. You shouldn't be out here alone. Plus winter is coming up soon, it's getting colder at night. Just say yes already. Please?" He said and took a step closer to her, pouting heavily.

She looked at his bottom lip, desperately wanting to nibble on it. She couldn't say no to that face. She looked into his eyes and found kindness, trust, and a hint of amusement from their previous banter. She sighed, pretending to be agreeing because he wanted her to, not because she wanted to. "Fine. Just let me pack up some of my stuff. I don't want anything going missing."

"Alright, you do that. I'm going to go get my car. I'll meet you at the entrance of the alley."

She nodded at him and he left. When she was sure he was gone, she smiled and did a little dance. *Shower, bed and warm food... HERE I COME! Added bonus... Hot guy who cares about me and thinks I'm beautiful.* Then her smile faded. *This is too good to be true. When is the next shoe going to drop?* She sighed then started to pack up her guitar, food, and clothes. All of the things that meant the most to her always stayed in a secret pocket inside her guitar case. Everything that meant the most to her she put in there. Pictures, Angel's gold chain, her Claudagh ring and any extra money. She couldn't loose them, so she carried them with her at all times. When she was all done, she blew out her candles and went out to meet Spike.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"So, you never answered my question earlier." Spike said as he pulled into a grocery store.

"What question?"

"If you could have any dinner made for you, what would to have?"

"Oh, uhm." She started to fidget. She hated it when he put her on the spot like this. "I don't know. I can't really say I miss my parents home cooked meals, considering they always had a hired cook in the kitchen. So, I guess..." She shrugged and looked at him.

"Oh, come on! There has to be something you're craving, luv."

"Well, a steak. A nice juicy steak."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Anything on the side?"

"Potato salad?" She said with a shrug. *Why are you pestering me?* she added silently.

"That it?"

"Will you stop with the questions?"

"Nope."

"Your infuriating. Are you aware of that?"

"Very." He said with a smirk. "What else do you want?"

"I don't know!" She yelled and sunk lower into her chair. "You're making me very uncomfortable right now."

"Alright." He held his hands up. "Sorry. Steaks, potato salad and how about ceaser salad?"

"That's fine with me."

"Want to come in with me?"

She rolled her eyes and got out of the car. They made the walk to the grocery store in silence. When she got inside, he took her hand and let her to the produce section. He picked up the items for the ceaser salad. They walked to the meat section and he took two steaks out and then turned toward her. "I uh... I don't really know how to make potato salad. Do you mind if it comes pre-made?" He asked sheepishly.

She shook her head and he sighed in relief. "Good. I was afraid you might want it homemade." He sad and picked up a tub of the pre-made stuff.

"You okay to carry all of that? I can carry some if you want." She said and held out her hand to take something.

"Nope, you're going to need your hands in a moment." He said a nudged her with his elbow. "Follow me."

She went silently. He led her to the toiletry aisle and looked at the long rows of shampoos and conditioners. "I don't know what you use, pet. You're going to have to pick it all out."

She looked at him in shock. "You have got to be kidding me!" She said and looked at him. He shook his head no so she continued. "I can just use whatever you have at your house. I don't mind. Clean is clean to me."

"I have all guy smelling stuff, and I don't use conditioner. So pick out what you need and let's go." He just wanted to get her to his house so he could take care of her for the night.

"Spike, you don't have to do this." She said and looked down at the floor.

"No. I don't have to. But I want to. Please, just do it. For me?"

She looked up to him and seen the pleading look on his face. She didn't understand why he was doing all of this for her. She supposed she never would understand. So instead of thinking about it she reached out and took down some herbal essence shampoo and conditioner and held them up to his face. "Good enough?"

"Not yet. Body gel, razors, deodorant, and a toothbrush." He simply smiled when she was about to fight back. "No use arguin', luv. You are going to get it no matter what you say. Just do it please."

She huffed and grabbed all he told her to grab. "If you tell me to get one more thing, I'm going to throw this stuff on the ground and get my stuff and leave."

He simply nodded and walked ahead of her to go pay for the stuff in their hands.

________________________

Spike was in the kitchen cooking while she took her shower. He liked her. A lot. He didn't know what it was about her but it seemed to call to him. Her hazel eyes and the way they showed her emotion. The way her lips look so plump and soft. Her slender neck, her tiny hands that felt so soft in his in the grocery store. Everything he saw was perfection. He wanted to kiss her breathless. He wanted to hold her. Wake up beside her. He wanted everything that girl could give and give it all back twice as much. He wanted everything.

It terrified him.

He knew that if he kept her around long enough, she would consume him. Pick him up in her fiery passion and burn him until there was nothing left. It scared him that he felt this way, and yet he wanted it with every fiber of his being.

________________________

She made sure every surface of her skin was clean. She scrubbed until every inch of her felt tingly and fresh. She lathered, rinsed and repeated twice. She saved her legs and under her arms. She used up every ounce of hot water doing it. All the while thinking of the incredibly hot man on the other side of the apartment.

She would have to be blind not to see it. Spike was pure sex on legs and there was nothing she could do to stop her lust. He was incredibly annoying, devilishly charming, and very tender when he wanted to be. He could pull each persona off at the drop of a hat. His eyes twinkled with amusement. His cheekbones were chiseled to perfection. His lips just ready to be kissed. He carried himself with self confidence and pride. That man was not afraid to be himself.

Completely opposite from her. Where he was strong and self confident, she was weak and shy. Where he was beauty and perfection, she was mediocre. Where he let his personality come through with everything that he did, she held herself back and came through only with her music. She didn't deserve to even think about being with him.

Besides, she was looking for Angel, not a random stranger with undeniable allure. She would never admit it, but she needed Spike now. She needed Angel forever. She needed Spike for his shower, food and guidance. She needed Angel for his friendship, his love, and his heart. She couldn't turn her back on that for one night of bliss.

She stepped out and took the towel that Spike gave her off the counter. Instead of wrapping it around her, she brought it to her nose and sniffed. It smelled like him. She sighed *I wouldn't stand a chance anyway.* she thought to herself as she dried herself off.

She got dressed into the white short sleeved shirt and the black jogging pants, forgoing the bra and underwear so Spike could wash them for her. She brushed her hair with the brush Spike had put out for her and smeared on the deodorant under her arms. She looked into the mirror and hardly recognized herself. She looked older, like she had to grow up way to fast. She had bags under her eyes and her eyebrows were kind of bushy from lack of tweezing. *Nothing you can do about it. It's not like Spike has a spare set of tweezers laying around.*

Deeming herself presentable, she balled up her dirty clothes and left the bathroom to find Spike.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Spike was sitting at the table, the food growing colder by the minute. She had been in the bathroom for at least an hour. He had no clue what was taking her so long. Of course, if he hadn't had a shower in a couple of weeks, he too would take a while, but only half the length of time she was taking. He knew he should have waited longer to cook the steaks.

Spike got up from his seat and was heading for the bathroom to see if she was alright. He turned the corner to the hall and collided with her tiny form.

Buffy ran into his chest, letting out a small 'Oomph' before she grabbed his arm for balance. "Spike? What are you doing?" She asked him, one hand clutching his arm and one splayed on his chest.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was glorious. Gorgeous. Effulgent. Her hair was hanging down on her shoulders in light brown waves, her skin was clean and glowing, and her scent was purely tantalizing. All he could do was stare at the blond, slightly damp, bombshell.

She looked into his eyes and watched the emotions swirl around. She saw admiration, wonderment... Longing? She had never been looked at like that, it was unnerving her. She took her right hand off his arm and waved it at his face. "Spike? Earth to Spike!"

He snapped out of his daydream with a shake of his head. "Uh" He cleared his throat and took his hands off of her shoulders. "Sorry. I came looking for you. You were taking a while." He brought his hand up and ran it through his hair. "Dinner is getting cold."

She nodded at him and he put his arm out to point her in the direction of the dining room. With her in front of him, he adjusted himself to relieve the tightness in his pants.

________________________

Dinner had gone smoothly. Buffy all but devoured it, mumbling her praise to Spike about the taste. *Like I'd give my girl anything but the best... Wait, not my girl. She doesn't want you, mate. She's not your girl* He thought to himself as he cleared the table. "Feel free to go pick out a movie or something. I'll join you in a minute." He said with a soft smile and left the room.

Buffy entered the living room and her eyes popped. *Wow* About two feet from one wall was a large black leather couch, a love seat beside it forming an L shape, blood red satin throw pillows at the corners. A glass table sitting on a chrome stand, the glass tinted a opaque black, with silver coasters on the top, was in front of the couch, a book shelf stuffed full of books behind the couch against the wall. Across from the couch was a 41" plasma wide screen TV that was wall mounted above a medium sized entertainment unit with glass doors. Inside the entertainment unit was a PS3 and a DVD player on the top shelf and rows of games and DVD's on the bottom shelf. On one of the side walls there were shelves full of cds.

Buffy smiled and walked around the leather couch, running her hand along the back as she soaked up the room. She walked over to the entertainment unit and opened the glass doors gently to look through his movies. Like a typical manly man, he had mostly action, horror and car movies. Crammed way at the back was the movie The Notebook. Inspecting the cover she decided that was what she wanted to watch. She walked back to the couch and her feet met with a soft white woolly carpet. She smiled and curled her toes up, feeling the softness caress her skin.

She sat down on the leather couch, put a pillow on her lap and started to read the back of the movie case. "What did you pick out, luv?" Spike asked and set down two cans of Pepsi, a bowl of popcorn and a bowl of dill pickle chips.

"Thanks. I picked out The Notebook." She smiled and held it out to him.

"Alright." He said and went to go put the disc into the DVD player.

"That's it? No arguments?" She said with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope, I kind've like this movie. It's nice."

"Wow. I expected you to grumble about it being 'poncy' or 'poofy' or whatever you bloody Brits say." She said and took a sip of her Pepsi.

"Oi! I don't say poofy." He grumbled and settled in beside her and put the bowl of popcorn on his lap.

________________________

"Stop the movie." Buffy said sternly, closing her eyes and clenching her hands into fists.

Spike picked up the remote and paused the movie. It was only half way in. "What's wrong, pet?" He asked her with a concerned look.

"Nothing. I'm tired." She said and stood up. "I want to be alone. I can take the couch."

"Elizabeth." He said and stood up in front of her. "Talk to me." He brought his hand up and gently placed it on her cheek, turning her head so she could look at me. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing. That scene just... brought up some bad memories. That's all."

"Wanna' talk about it?" Spike pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head.

Buffy was about to push him away, but she felt warm, safe, comfortable and cared for there. She hadn't felt that in a long time. She felt alive. Like someone actually wanted to know if she was okay. Quickly making up her mind, she pulled back slightly and looked up at Spike, making sure he was looking into her eyes."Kiss me." She whispered pleadingly.

"What? You want me to.."

"Kiss me." She said again, cutting him off.

"You don't want to ta--" He was cut off by her lips crashing against his.

It was like electricity, a tiny spark to her lips that quickly rippled through her body in jolts. His soft lips massaging hers in a passionate kiss. She felt as if she was on fire. Her skin was slowly raising in temperature as he softly placed his hands on her hips and pulled her body tightly to hers, allowing her to feel his growing erection. Quickly, her fingers went the hem of his shirt and brought it up over his head, breaking the kiss to pull the shirt over his head.

They stood looking at each other, panting from the intensity of the kiss. She reached for her shirt and started to raise it up to take it off. "Wait." Spike said and stopped her hands with his own.

"Why n--" Her words turned into a moan as he started to kiss her again, sweeping his tongue across her bottom lip for entrance.

He took the material in his grasp and pulled up slowly, letting his kisses trail from her lips, to her jaw line, to her neck. "Are you sure about this, pet? We don't have to do any--"

"Yes. Do it." She said with a breathy voice. "Please."

He nuzzled her neck again before he pulled her shirt completely off. He leaned back to look at her and was greeted with already bare breasts. *No bra? She must have put it in the wash with her other clothes.*

She watched him as the arousal filled his blue eyes, turning them into dark pools of lust. She brought her hands up and touched his muscular torso, loving the way his muscles seemed to twitch under her touch.

"Fucking sexy."

"Bloody gorgeous"

They spoke at the same time. Buffy let a wicked grin slowly appear on her lips as she thought of the things she was going to do with his body. Suddenly, Spike found himself with a very horny Buffy wrapped around him. Her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. "Take me to your bed, Spike." She whispered into his ear then nibbled the lobe.

He just groaned and started to walk towards his room, then to his bed. He put Buffy down gently and started to kiss his way down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple into his mouth and bit down softly. Buffy moaned and put her hands in his hair as he switched to the other nipple, rolling his tongue over it. He desperately wanted to just release his hard cock from his increasingly constricting jeans and pound into her, but he wanted to make sure she was ready and received a good set of foreplay in the mean time.

She was dripping wet. This would be the third time she has had sex, but it never started out or felt like this. The way he was kissing and nipping his was down her body was driving her insane with need. When his hands came to the waistband of her sweat pants she lifted up her hips to give him some assistance, excitement climbing as her pants slid down further.

As he slipped her pants off he inhaled her musk deeply. She was already wet for him and his mouth watered at that thought of tasting it. He ran his legs up her smooth legs and parted them at the knees. Kneeling on the floor between her legs he dipped his head and let his tongue slide up her folds, capturing her sweet juice on his tongue. They moaned in unison as he started to devour her whole, alternating between flicking her clit and thrusting his tongue into her channel as far as it would go.

Buffy arched her back as Spike added two fingers into the mix. "Oh, Spike... guuuhh!" She moaned as she squeezed her thighs together, trapping his head between them. Feeling herself near orgasm, she fisted her hands into the sheets. "Oh god... Oh! I'm gunna... I'm gunna...ooh...come!"

When he heard her moan her impending orgasm, he doubled his efforts. Flicking her clit faster and quickening the pace of his fingers, curling up to probe her g-spot. She started to moan louder so he extracted his fingers, replacing them with his tongue, catching her juice as she came.

As the tremors in her body started to fade, she reached down and pulled his hair up so he was looking at her. "Fuck. Me. Now!" she growled.

"No need to tell me twice!" he said as he striped his pants and socks off. He pushed her up so that they could both fit on the bed. He settled in on top of her and was about to thrust in but then stopped. "Condom." He sighed and went to pull away to get one.

"No. It's ok, I had the Depo shot just before I got kicked out. Good for a year or two after the shots are stopped. Please, I need you inside."

He nodded and settled back on top of her as she wrapped her legs around him. "Slowly... This is only the third time I've done this." She said and guided him to her entrance.

He nodded again, afraid to use his voice. He slowly pushed into her. They both took a sharp intake of breath as he sank in deeper.

*God, she's so tight!*

*Uhh... He's so big!*

Finally he thrust the rest of the way in and stilled his movements. "You okay, luv?" He asked and kissed her softly on her lips.

"Yeah... Go... Move, please!" She gasped as she wiggled her hips, begging for friction.

He kissed her again as he started a slow rhythm. With one arm holding him from crushing her, he used his other hand to play with one of her nipples. As the kiss deepened and grew with passion, his thrust picked up pace, hitting her at the perfect angle to cause his pubic bone to grind on her clit. She broke the kiss so she could take in some much needed oxygen.

"Uhh, Elizabeth. So bloody tight. Hot. Perfection." He said as he caught her nipple between his teeth.

"Feels... So good! Spike, fuck me! Harder! Faster!"

Obeying her commands, he lifted up a little and unhooked one of her legs from his waist and put it on his shoulder, changing the angle and giving him easier access to her clit. Her moans became louder as he worked his thumb against her nubbin, bringing the closer to the edge.

"I'm so close baby! Just like that! Uhhhhn!!" She moaned and thrust her hips to meet his.

He looked down and watched his cock disappear into her almost-virginal quim and felt his building climax. "Come for me, luv. You're making me feel so good. You like this, Elizabeth? You like my cock thrusting into your tight quim?"

"I love it Spike. Uhh! Feels Ama--" Her orgasm took her by surprise, making her scream instead of finishing her sentence.

He felt her body tense and the flutter of her walls. He let himself go and spilled his seed inside of her. He collapsed on top of her, leaving them intimately joined. "That was amazing, Elizabeth." He said and kissed her forehead.

Buffy looked up at him and nodded. Then she abruptly burst into tears.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Elizabeth?" Spike asked as shook her a gently. "Pet, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Do you regret it?" She wouldn't stop crying, so instead of asking her what was wrong, he pulled her into a hug. Holding her lightly and whispering soothing words.

She couldn't control it. The tears she had been holding in for the last 6 months came pouring out. All her angry, frustration and sadness had finally consumed her until there was nothing more than a sad little girl, crying on Spike's shoulder. 'That's what you get for bottling everything up, idiot!' she scolded herself. Her parents, they never really tried to care for her. She was constantly traded from nanny to nanny growing up. Her father was always gone on some corporate bullshit and sleeping around with anything that walked and had boobs. He never made any attempt at all to be involved with her life. He would hardly even acknowledge her when she was around. Instead of trying to get him to take notice on her life, she had just let herself fade to the background.

Her mother was an alcoholic. Always drinking some sort of liquor, finding some young boy-toy, screw said boy-toy's brains out in a sleazy motel, then come home and sleep off the alcohol. Buffy knew she was always drunk and sleazy because Hank was always trying to cover it up so he could save his career. To keep that 'perfect family' facade everyone loved. He always found a perfect excuse. She guessed her parents had an agreement to stay married yet screw the rest of the world population in the meantime. Her mother ignored her most of the time, only intervening when Buffy didn't date the right boy or wasn't getting the best grades in school.

To say she violently disliked her parents would be describing her feelings lightly. She never understood why they could be so neglectful to her, yet run her life at the same time. It was driving her crazy because she had all of this guilt for not being a good daughter and for hating her parents.

Then there was Angel; her life, her salvation, her godsend. He was always there for her. Picking her up when she was down, and helping her put her life together. She missed him terribly and wanted nothing more than to be back with him. She couldn't find him though. She looked everywhere. His house in Sunnydale, his father's in L.A, his brothers in Colorado and now she was in New York. She had used up the rest of her money in her bank account for bus tickets and this is where she had to stop. This is where she decided she would start her life without her parents and without Angel.

Sobs were taking her body over, and she started to shake. She noticed Spike had slipped his shirt over her head to try to cover her up. She was grateful for that. She knew why she had attacked him like that earlier. She knew it was wrong to do but she couldn't help it. He was creating new feelings, and she couldn't understand them. Instead of trying to figure it out, she took drastic measures and pretty much raped him in the living room. She hated herself for that, she shouldn't have done that.

She was crying for a good 20 minutes when she finally trusted herself to speak. "I'm sorry, Spike." She said and pulled away from his embrace to go to the couch.

"Aye! Where are you going?" He asked and took her wrist in his hand.

She wrenched it back and stared at him grimly. "Don't touch me. I'm leaving. Thanks for letting me have a shower and dinner." She said as she started to get dressed.

"Elizabeth. Please don't go. We have to talk about what just happened. You can't just shag a bloke silly, burst into tears then leave. I'll probably end up with a complex. Tell me what's wrong. Trust me." He said and got up, she shot him a daring look he held up his hands in surrender. "I won't touch you. I swear."

"I don't want to talk. I just want to get my stuff and go." She said and ran her fingers through her hair to get some of the knots out.

"Your clothes aren't dry yet. I still haven't put them into the dryer. Please just stay."

"Stop doing that!"

"Doing what, pet? I'm not doing anything."

"Stop talking to me like you care. No one cares. No one wants me. Not my parents, not Angel, not you. Just leave me alone!" She said and ran out of his room.

He stood there shocked for a minute. 'She doesn't think I care for her? I must be doing something wrong.' He thought to himself. He shook his head, picked up some sweat pants and ran after her, slow enough not to spook her. "Wait!" He called as he caught up to her.

She had ran into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking him out. The tears still hadn't stopped. 'Why can't I stop crying? I don't want to cry. I want to go back to being numb. What is he doing to me?' She thought to herself as she started to pace the bathroom floor.

"I do care for you, don't you see? I don't usually invite homeless teens into my home. How old are you anyway." Suddenly he was sweating, what if she is like 16? 'Oh god! You should have figured her age out before, you pillock!'

"Don't worry Spike. I'm almost 18. You won't get into trouble for statutory rape." She said snidely through the door.

"Okay, good. I'm 22. Wait! No, I didn't mean that!" he yelled through the door.

"Whatever, Spike. Leave me alone."

"Fine, I'm going to go put your clothes into the dryer, get you a bottle of water and I'll be back." He said and waited for her to reply.

When he got no response he left to go to the laundry room. A million thoughts about Elizabeth were going through his head. Why did she think he didn't care for her? Why had she just burst into tears? She had been responsive during sex, looking and acting like she was enjoying herself like he had. He was totally confused by her actions after he couldn't help but think she was having regrets. He was going to get to the bottom of this, even if he had to talk to her through the door.

He had finished putting her laundry into the dryer and started to go to the kitchen. He was side tracked by the sound of her voice through the bathroom door. Gingerly, he brought his ear closer to the door, resting his hand on the wall beside him.

"I can't fall for him. I love Angel. It meant nothing. Meaningless sex. Meaningless great sex. God, why doesn't he want to be with me? Why do they always leave? Don't depend in him, he will leave you. Move on Buffy."

She was barely audible, but he heard most of what she said. He started his walk to the kitchen again, more thoughts coming from what she had said. "At least she doesn't regret it" he laughed sarcastically at himself. "He will leave you. She thinks I will leave her. Who's Buffy?" He asked himself and took two bottles of water from the fridge.

He shook his thoughts out of his head. 'Don't focus on that, mate. Focus on her.' He gave himself a pep talk as he got closer to the bathroom. "Elizabeth, I have water for you. Open the door so I can pass it to you."

"No."

"Okay, I will set it right here on the floor." He bent over and put it down. "Now, I will take some steps back, so you can get it yourself, without me seeing you." He said sadly.

"O-okay." Her words were as shaky as her hands. She reached for the door and opened it slowly. The bottle of water was sitting there like he said it would be, so she grabbed it then quickly shut the door again. "Th-thank you, Sp-ike" She stuttered.

"No problem pet. I did that because I *care* about you." He said and took his place in front of the bathroom door again so it was easier to hear her.

Buffy took a sip of her water and watched the door. She really wanted to fling it open and jump into his arms, seeking solace for her broken heart. She wouldn't let herself though. She refused to become dependent on him in case he didn't want to keep her around. Maybe she could just talk to him. Let him know why she is so broken so she can start to heal herself. She hasn't spoken to anyone since that night 6 months ago. She was broken inside and she wanted to be whole again.

They both stood in silence, looking at the door expectantly. Both were expecting the other to come through to door and accept each other's company and embrace. The silence was grating on Spike's nerves. He was about to say something when he heard a shaky voice from the other side of the door.

"M-my real name i-is Buffy." She said and took a step towards the door. "Buffy Summers."

"My real name is William Pratt." He said and took a step towards the door.

"I had my heartbroken by my parents, and my first love." She said and took another step.

"Me too." Another step.

"I have a hard time letting people in, because I'm scared. I'm scared to lose myself so completely and end up broken again." She was right in front of the door now. One hand resting on the door as if it was on his chest, and the other on the door knob.

"I know how you feel, pet. I'm right there with you."

"I feel pulled to you." They both said at the same time. "Like I need to be closer to you." Spike said.

"Because if I'm not close to you, I feel cold and alone." Buffy said, more tears coming to her eyes.

"Then come closer, Buffy. I want you to come closer." Spike reached for the door knob.

Before he could get his hand to the door knob, Buffy had already opened the door. "I'm ready to talk." She said stepping closer to him.

"I'm ready to listen." He told her, bringing his hand up to her cheek, brushing away a tear.

"Not just me, Spike. I want to know about you too. I tell you my story and you tell me yours. Please?"

"Yes. I can do that. Come 'ere." He said and pulled her into an embrace. "We will help each other."

She rested her head on his chest and nodded. They were going to talk to each other. They were going to let the other in and talk about their past. Both of them were terrified, but excited to finally have that weight lifted off their shoulders.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Spike had gotten Buffy a blanket, which she was curled up with on the couch because she was cold. They hadn't said anything since they agreed to confide in each other, but Spike was determined to help her get whatever she needed out of her system, out. She was sitting there with the blanket clutched to her like it was a lifeline, tears glistening in her eyes like she was holding them back. He sat down beside her and took her hand in his. "Whenever you're ready, luv. Unless you want me to go first."

She looked up at him and gave him a little smile. "You'd go first?"

"Yeah, I would."

She nodded and looked at him imploringly, silently begging him to go first.

"Right. Okay, so when I was born, my parents were the happiest people in the world. My mum wasn't supposed to have children, because she had something wrong with her uterus. Anyway, I was their world. They did everything they could for me and made me a very happy child. So as I grew up I was teased at school for being a mummy's boy, I even had the look. Curly sandy blond hair hanging in my face, tweed suits and my nose in a book. So I started to rebel and created lots of unnecessary fights and problems for my parents. Staying out too late and sneaking out. Parties and drugs. I changed my look to what you see today, my name was changed to Spike all because I knew they would hate it. I did it all to spite them, to make myself more popular..." He looked down at his hands as he held back the tears that threatened to fall. He was really starting to regret this, but it was what he needed and it was what Buffy needed. So he bit back his sob, and continued.

"One night, I had been invited to a party, but my parents had said no. They told me that they were going out for dinner and that they trusted me not to sneak out to go to the party. That only made me want to go more. So when they left I did sneak out. I scoffed at their trust and went out of spite. To try to prove to myself and to my friends that I wasn't a mum's boy. I had fun at that party, I thought it was the best party I had been to because I wasn't supposed to be there. That all changed though." He Stood up and started to pace, the tears falling silently.

"So I get home, relieved to find out that my parents hadn't yet to be home. But it was late, I didn't know why they had taken so long for dinner. So I just went to bed because I was drunk as fuck. I hadn't even fallen asleep when there was a knock on the door. I was going to just leave it but the person knocked again..."

_~FLASHBACK~_

_"Bloody hell! I'm coming!" He yelled into the silent house, grumbling as he got out of bed to answer the door._

_Walking down the stairs he couldn't help but wonder why there was a knock on the door at two in the morning. As he neared the door, he seen police lights flashing in the driveway. He quickly opened the door to a police officer. "Hello, is this Mr. and Mrs. Pratt's residence?" He asked, looking down at his notepad then back to Spike._

_"Yeah, it is. I'm their son. They've gone out right now. What do you want?" He asked, letting his annoyance show._

_"Well, it seems there has been an accident." The officer flipped his notebook closed and attached it to his belt. "Your father and your mother have been in an accident. I think that y--"_

_"What are you talking about?" Spike asked, shock and worry written all over his face._

_"Your parents, they were on their way home from a local restaurant. Their car was hit by a drunk driver on the passenger seat side. It took up awhile to identify your parents. It was a transport truck."_

_Spike hated how the man was talking in such short, matter-of-factly sentences. "They... Th-they're all right though... right?" Spike was instantly sober. He was shaking with worry, he didn't know what he would do if his parents were gone. He wouldn't be able to take it._

_"I'm sorry, but the doctors were unable to save your mother. Your father is in critical condition though. Would you like me to drive you to the hospital so you can see him?"_

_"Yes, please. Take me to them." He said in a quiet voice._

_~END OF FLASHBACK~/_

"So when they took me to the hospital, I was too late. My father had already passed. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I was 18, just fresh out of high school and I lost my parents. My world felt like it was crumbling, coming down in on me. I couldn't stay in London, so I moved to New York after my parents will was read. I inherited all of my parent's money and belongings. Most of it is in storage right now. I havn't brought myself to go look through it. I hardly spend their money either."

He sat down beside Buffy and rubbed her leg. "The next part you might not like. But believe me when I say, this part of my life is over." He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"When I moved here to New York, everything was new to me. The people, the accent, some of the food, even tea was different. It kept my mind off my parents and how horrible I was to them before they passed. I started to learn how to play the guitar and I wrote songs. One night, I went to a bar that had an open mic night...I brought my guitar and I signed up to play a song that night..."

_~FLASHBACK~_

_Spike walked into the bar, his guitar in its case dangling by his knee. He walked to the counter and ordered a shot of whiskey while he wrote his name on the list. *First of the night, great.* "Make that two shots, mate." He said and put the pen down._

_He took both of the shots and waited for his name to be called. He didn't know why he wanted to do this, he just felt like he should. For a little bit of closure he guessed._

_He looked beside him and a woman sat down. She was beautiful. Long wavy black hair that hung just past her shoulders, her eyes a dark blue, a blood red velvet spaghetti strap and a black billowy skirt that ended just above her feet, which were in black strappy stilettos. Spike passed his eyes up and down this black godess. When he reached her face she was smiling at him like he had been caught checking her out. He blushed slightly and looked back at his drink. "It's ok, my sweet boy. I'm yours to look at. If you'll have me. My name's Drusilla."_

_He noticed her accent and vowed to know where she had grown up. His name had just been called so he stood up and promised a continuance of the conversation and went to the microphone._

_~END FLASHBACK~/_

"After that night, I was enthralled by her. She had shown me things I never even dreamed. Every day was an adventure with her. I quickly found myself in love with her, but when I told her that, she looked me right in the eye and said 'I know, my sweet William, but I cannot be your girl anymore. To many fishes in the sea to stay with just one...' Which I had no bloody clue what she was talking about at the time, until a guy came in, found her and kissed the living hell out of her in front of me." He said clenching his jaw. He hated talking about it; it was something he liked to keep to himself.

"After he was done kissin' her, they looked at me and she laughed. Then she said 'Don't worry William. Your sunshine will come around someday.' And she walked away. But later I found out that she had been sleeping with every guy she could. Cheated on me through the whole relationship. It broke me in half. I didn't understand how she could do that. Her friends told me she did it deliberately you know." He jumped up and started to pace.

"She picked me out of thousands of guys, made me fall in love with her, and then makes me into a bloody fool when she breaks up with me. She sent me the damn pictures after... you know! All of a sudden I'm looking at pictures of her getting fucked into next Tuesday and all I could do was look at the pictures and cry like a ponce. Then I get myself into meaningless sex, which is how Harmony comes into my life, bloody bint wouldn't take no for an answer. 'Oh Spikey, I want to be with you' I tell her no but she just keeps coming back and back and women are fucked up, they're just--"

"In all fairness to my gender, Spike. I don't like to hear you bash us." She smiled gently and got up to hug him. "I'm sorry about your parents. I'm sure they know that you are sorry for how you behaved. As for Drusilla, she doesn't deserve you. She did that to fuck with your mind and your heart. I don't know who Harmony is, but I'll keep her away from you if you want me to." Then she looked away shyly. "I mean... Sorry, never mind."

"Hey." He said and took her chin in his hand, bringing her face around so he could kiss her gently. "Was that sex meaningless to you?"

"No, but I wanted it to be. So badly. But it wasn't. I don't regret it; I only regret how fast we went. It wasn't meaningless to me." She moved in to hold him again, afraid of what he was going to say to that. If he did reject her, she wanted to hold on to this feeling of safety for as long as she could.

"Well, it wasn't meaningless to me either. If you want to have a go at a relationship, I'm fine with that. But first." He brought her over to the couch and lowered them both gently, letting her curl up into his side. "It's time for your share time."

She let out a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "Is it okay if I skipped the Mommy and Daddy never loved me part?"


	7. Chapter 7

**UPDATED! AngstKitten brought to my attention that chapters 7 and 8 were the same. This is the actual chapter 7 and I am sorry to who ever missed it, I hope you get the chance to read this so you can understand where Buffy's story was. I bet it was a little confusing when Buffy went to Sunnydale. Anyway, here it is, enjoy! And don't forget to review!!**

She let out a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "Is it okay if I skip the Mommy and Daddy never loved me part?"

"Start from the beginning, pet," he said and started to rub her upper arm.

"Well, I don't think my parents were too thrilled about having me. I don't even know if my mom kept a single baby book. They were never really around when I was growing up. My dad was always out on some corporate trip, sleeping with his secretaries. My mother, she used to be a high class, always look good, popular with the fellow stepford wives type woman. But as I grew older, and as my dad strayed more, she fell more and more in love with alcohol. She usually locked herself in her room, drinking herself into a stupor, then went out to a local bar and picked up the first college or university boy she could find, fucked the life out of them in a cheesy motel, then came home to her nice cold husbandless bed. I found this out from some of my peers gossiping about what their mothers talk about." She sniffled a little then continued. "We never got along well as a family anyway. Whatever show we put on at my dad's parties or functions that we were forced to attend, was all put on. All a show for his bosses or co-workers. 'Hey, look how fakely perfect my family is,'" she mocked her dad and gave a fake smile.

"I hated celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving. Any family gathering actually. It always felt fake, all the smiles and the laughter. All of it put on for the holiday. It was nice when I was younger, because it felt like I was finally having a day with my family. But as I grew older I realized I was only being 'graced with their presence' for the day, and the next day I was left feeling like 'what's next? How do I act today?' you know?" She looked at him and he nodded.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "As I've told you, my parents are upper class. The 'No nonsense, pay your taxes, flaunt your job title' sort of people. My parents even tried to choose my boyfriends. I never liked anyone they chose for me, so naturally I rebelled also. I knew the one way I could royally piss them off would be to date someone who was beneath me in their eyes. So I looked for the cutest guy and pursued him." She looked up at Spike and smiled sweetly. "I never meant to fall in love with him," she said softly, then looked down at her hands.

Spike was racked with jealousy, but his stoic face never faltered. He kissed her forehead and urged her to continue. "Every time me and Angel would fight it would always be about my father..."

_~FLASHBACK~_

_"Why does it always have to be about my family?" Buffy asked him softly as she sat on his bed, wringing her hands as silent tears fell down her cheeks._

_"I'm sorry, Buffy. But I can't deal with how your parents look at me. Like I'm trash. I know I don't deserve you, but not for the reasons they think. You are the kindest, most caring and loving person I have ever known. I would do anything to stay with you. I just can't take how they treat me, you and our relationship. You have to understand," he told her calmly, taking her hands in his. "I love you, Buffy. But I can't deal with this anymore. Us hiding, taking stolen moments with each other. So I'm leaving, I'm going to leave town so that it's less hard on us. I'm sorry Buffy. But we can no longer--"_

_"Angel! Please don't say what I think you're going to say. Please don't leave me again," she pleaded with him, throwing herself into his arms._

_He slowly wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and hugged her to his chest, breathing in the scent of her hair for the last time. "I'll never forget you, Buffy. I never meant to hurt you. Can we be friends?"_

_Buffy jumped up and looked down at Angel. "Friends?!" she yelled at him, extending her arms out from her sides. "You want us to be 'just friends'?"_

_He stood up and tried to pull her into another hug. "Yes, I don't want to lo--"_

_"Lose me? You don't want to lose me? You will never lose me Angel! Don't you see? I gave you everything! My heart, body and soul. What do you do with it? Break it! You broke me... Again," she said and backed away from him crying with more force._

_They stood there in silence for a few moments. Both breathing in the last few moments they had together. Buffy stood straighter, wiped her tears and took a deep breath. "Maybe... Maybe my parents are right."_

_"What do you mean?" he asked and took a step forward._

_"About everything."_

_He went in for another hug, but she pushed him with all the strength she had in her, knocking him down to the floor. "They are right. You're beneath me," she regretted it the second it came out of her mouth. She refused to show it, but she felt it._

_With shaky legs, she walked out of Angel's room, out of the front door, then started to run. She didn't stop running until she got to the abandoned mansion that he had promised to buy for her, where he had made love to her for the first and second time. She slowly walked to the master bedroom, then curled up on her bed and cried._

_~END FLASHBACK~_

She was crying again. Why couldn't she stop? She hadn't cried this much since that night. She hated it then, and she hated it now. She just wanted it all to stop.

Spike pulled her up into his lap and started to rub her back soothingly. "Shh, pet. When you're ready. It's okay, I've got you," he whispered in her ear, trying to be as comforting as he could to the broken girl in his arms.

She looked up at him and he wiped a falling tear from her cheek. "You alright?"

She leaned him and kissed him chastely on the lips, so faint he almost didn't feel it at first. "I'm alright Spike. I have you now," she whispered.

And then she smiled. It wasn't a huge, beaming smile. But it was real. That was good enough for him... For now.


	8. Chapter 8

It bothered her. The feeling of not knowing. The uncertainty she felt as she packed up what was left in her shack than had been her home for the last 2 weeks.

Spike wanted to help her. That she understood. The thing that got to her, was why Spike was paying for hotel room for her. She was totally thankful for it, but she didn't understand why she couldn't just stay at the shelter he worked at instead. Spike had said something about not having a lot of room there, only one shower, and that most nights she would end up sleeping on a floor instead of a cot. But why was he paying for her to live in a hotel?

No matter how many times she asked him she always got the same answer. "Because I just want to make sure you're safe. Besides, I have the money to do it. So shut up and appreciate it." He would tell her and add that undeniably sexy smirk.

So she left it alone. He was waiting for her anyway; she didn't want to keep him waiting for long.

When she got all of her stuff into the trunk and slid into the passenger seat beside him, she caught him smiling at her. "What?" She asked and looked the other way.

"It's nothing. Just have a couple of thoughts that I want your opinion on." He said and lit a smoke, exhaling it out of the open window.

She was silent until he pulled the car onto the road and headed toward the hotel. "What kind of thoughts?"

"Thoughts about closure. I think you need it. I need it. Maybe we can do it together."

"What do you mean closure?" She asked and wrinkled her nose at the foul smelling smoke that had escaped being sucked out of the car.

He caught the look she gave to his smoke and he felt bad for smoking in the car with her. Maybe it was time to kick the habit. But he couldn't help but smile at the adorable way her nose crinkled.

"Well for me, I want closure on my parents. As for the Drusilla thing, well I'm already on to healing over that," He said and threw another smile her way. He took another drag of his smoke as he thought of the next words to say. " And for your closure, I was thinking I could get us a couple of plane tickets, fly out to your hometown and confront your parents. I don't know if I can help you with the whole Angel business, but I would like to try"

"Spike, you already are helping me. Just unloading everything I did on you last night helped me a lot. I uh..." She said and shifted her weight a little, turning her face to look outside the window. "I never told anyone about Angel. He hardly knew anything about my parents either. I never really talk to anyone about my feelings."

"You bottle up your emotions. I get that. It's unhealthy, but I get it." He said and threw out his smoke so he could take her hand in his. "I'm happy I helped though."

"So am I." She said and moved closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder.

The rest of the car ride progressed in comfortable silence. Both of them stealing secretive glances at the other as they carried on with their thoughts.

When they reached the hotel parking lot, Spike went to go get the hotel room booked as Buffy pulled all of her belongings out. She was surprised at how much she had bought for herself since deciding to stay in New York. She had two blankets, some more clothes than she started out with, her stuffed pig Mr. Gordo, candles, her guitar, some tablature books, a guitar tuner, two more notebooks than she started out with and a couple of keep sakes from the journey she had been on inside a shoe box. She piled it on the walkway in front of a couple of rooms and waited for Spike's return.

"Room number 6," He said and passed her the room key, picking up some of her stuff as he led the way to her room. "You never did tell me anything, pet." what she gave him a confused look he went on to explain. "About your opinion. Your opinion about the closure thing. You don't need to worry about money. I have more than I need." She opened the door and he went in and put her stuff down on the bed. "I know your probably wondering why I want to do this with you so bad, but I can't explain it. I can't even try to explain it because I really don't know."

"Can you please try?" She said and sat down beside her stuff.

He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his."I guess... I guess it's because I want someone to be there with me when I get closure and I figure you might want someone there too."

"I get that. What I don't get is why you want to spend so much money on me. I'm used to scraping by with a little amount of cash and then here you come with a, from what you tell me, impressively big bank account that I don't know how you acquired, and you want to spend a hefty amount of it on me. It makes me feel terrible. Makes me feel like you think I need that from you." She said and looked down at their joined hands. "I just need a friend, I don't need your money. I will admit that closure sounds really nice, but not at your expense."

"If I told you it was part of my getting closure, will it help you feel better?" He said as lifted her chin with his fingers so he could look her in the eye.

"What do you mean?"

"My plan to get closure involves me going to the storage place that has my parents stuff in it, going through it and picking out certain things that I might want to keep, and spending some of their money. Basically moving on with my life. As for the bank account thing, my dad was the owner and operator of a organization called 'The Watchers Council'. They are very popular in London. He hired the best trainers in the world to work for him. They trained ever kind of fighting style you can think of. It's a academy for self defense classes and the like." He took a deep breath and went to sit beside her.

"When I was born, my dad was so happy that he got a will immediately. In the will it said that when he died I could either take over at his job, or take a percentage of the profits and pass the job onto another family member that wants it. I took the percentage and passed the job to my cousin Rupert Giles. I didn't want to stay in England anymore and I knew Giles would take care of it. I tried to get out of the percentage but the stupid bloke wouldn't let me. So that's how I got my 'impressively large bank account'." He said and picked up the stuffed pig that was sticking out of her back pack.

"Mr. Gordo," She said with a faint smile. He raised his eye brow at her and she clarified. "The pig. His name is Mr. Gordo."

"I see." He said simply and raised the pig to cover his face. "So what do you say Buffy? Gunna help a poor bloke out?" He said with a high pitch voice, moving Mr. Gordo's arms as he spoke.

She laughed and hit his arm playfully then snatched Mr. Gordo away from him. "Do you really want me to help you?"

"I don't want you, pet," He said and moved closer to her. She was about to look away from him with a sad look on her face but he stopped her. He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled. "I need you to help me. No one else knows what I'm going through, and I don't feel like spilling my heart out to another stranger."

"Fine, I will help you." She smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss.

"Wait." He said and pushed her back a little. "I want to see that again."

She looked down at her body confused then back at him. "See what?"

"I want to see you smile again."

She smiled and slapped him on his arm again. "You're so cheesy you know that."

"I know, but you love it. Otherwise you wouldn't be smiling right now." He said and ducked the pillow she threw at his head.

"Self righteous jerk!" She squealed and ran over to pick the pillow back up as he advanced on her with the his own pillow.

"No not self righteous. I'm just sure of myself." He said with a smirk and brought the pillow down over her head.

She didn't say anything back, instead she laughed as she attacked him with her pillow.

________________________

She didn't know how long it had been since she had that much fun. She was sure it was with Angel. Although moments of unadulterated fun were few and far between, she had never had that much fun with him. That thought started a whole other chain of thoughts so she decided to stop thinking so much. Angel wasn't a part of her life anymore, not physically anyway. He had a huge role in her life, one that will never be truly forgotten, but she didn't want to dwell on the bad anymore.

It was part of her steps to recovery with Spike. 'That's right,' she thought to herself 'Think Spike. The nice, sweet, charming, unbelievably hot and sexy almost-boyfriend Spike.' She smiled.

That's another thing. She hadn't smiled this much in a long time either. She never wanted this feeling to go away. This budding happiness that was inside her was all to do with Spike. She was determined to keep him around for a long time, and if that meant that she had to bungee jump off it top of the Brooklyn Bridge, she would do it.

That thought scared her. It really scared her because one, she was willing to bungee jump off the Brooklyn Bridge to keep him around, and two, she never felt that way toward anyone before. It made her want to.. "You're not going to pull away from him! You're not going to shut him out! You are going to go with the flow and you're going to be happy doing it. You can take whatever comes next. You can do it together." She said out loud as she lay down on her bed.

She wasn't going to pull away. Spike was the best thing that happened to her since Angel and she wasn't going to loose that by her own doing. No way, no how.

She stood up and sighed. It had been 2 hours since Spike had left her to do her own stuff in the hotel. Her hands itched to pick up the phone to call him but she refused to become dependent on him. She wanted to need him and want him, but be independent doing it.

Instead she went to finish setting up her room, then she would go for a shower. She decided she would call Spike later that night.

________________________

"Hello Harm." He said as she sat down in front of him.

"Hey Spikey! Oh my God, I've been waiting all day to see you! I wanted to tell you that I got promoted today!" She squealed and clapped her hands together.

"That's great Harmony. I'm proud of you. But I needed to tell you som--"

"So I wanted to celebrate! I was thinking we could dress up, go to a couple clubs, dance ourselves into a horny frenzy, drive back to your place and dance some more... Only you know, horizontally." She giggled and picked up her menu.

"As fun as that sounds, I wanted to tell you tha--"

"And if you are wondering, I'm willing to over look you ignoring me for as long as you did. I want my Blondie Bear too much to hold out for long." She leaned over the table to kiss him but he turned him face and she caught his cheek.

"I want to tell you th--"

"What was that all about?" She said and crossed her arms.

"I would tell you but you kee--"

"You have never done that before you know. You're behaving really weird Spikey. For like a really long time and if yo--"

"HARMONY! SHUT. UP!" She hollered and she squeaked. He didn't care that he had just got half the attention of the other people in the little restaurant. They could mind their own business. "Are you ready to listen to me?" He asked and raised his eyebrow, when she nodded he continued. "I want to break up," He said and raised his hand when she opened her mouth to cut him off. "I tried calling you earlier but you must have been in your meeting getting all promoted. Now, I have met someone else. I'm sorry Harmony, I never wanted to hurt you but this just isn't working out. I'm going to leave you 20 dollars. Buy whatever you want on the menu and eat it on me. Good bye Harm, it was fun while it lasted." He said and got up from the table, placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and left.

What he didn't notice was the incredibly mad blond sitting alone at the table he just left.

________________________

"Hello?" She asked as she answered the phone.

"Hello, luv. I see you called earlier but I was out. Is there anything wrong?" Spike asked and clutched the phone to his ear, prepared to run over to the hotel if he had to.

"No no, nothing is wrong. Just got a little lonely. So I was thinking. Maybe I should get a job. Nothing special, just like... A waitress or something. Just to put some money in my pocket. Then I want to get my diploma. You think that is a good idea?"

"Pet, you know that's a brilliant idea. You didn't even have to ask and you know it." He said and smiled into the phone.

"I know. I just wanted you to know. How was your day?"

"It was good. I was thinking that I should take the next couple of weeks off of work though. Just to get you situated in your room, get over to the storage area with you, then fly out to... what did you call it again?"

"Sunnydale."

"Yes, Sunnydale. Fly out there and talk to your parents. Sound good?"

"It's your job. You can do what you want with it. Are you sure you want to do this though? I mean, I'm not sure how this is going to work."

"Buffy, I haven't seen anything of that belonged to my parents in almost 4 years. It's time that I face my past and come to terms with my parents' death. I should have done this a long time ago, but I didn't have the balls. Now I do.

"Are you saying that I'm your balls, Spike?"

"Something like that, yeah." She chuckled and shook his head. "I'm just kidding. What I mean is, now I've got the support and the strength to do it. Either I'll become a sodding baby and cry a bunch, or I could tell you about my childhood and my parents. If I go with option number two I'll be stronger for it you know? Finally tell someone about them so they're not just a memory to me anymore."

"I understand. I'm glad you want to include me in this."

"Me too, luv." He heard her yawn and decided to let her get some sleep. "It's late, you should get some sleep. But I don't want you to do anything tomorrow. Relax and enjoy your room, okay? I'll be there around 5:30 to pick you up after I get off work, alright?"

"Mmm hmmm. I will relax tomorrow. I promise. Sleepy now." she whined. "I'm sorry, Spike. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay, luv. I missed you today." He said and blushed, happy she couldn't see.

"I missed you too. Goodnight Spike."

"Goodnight." He said and waited until he heard the click of her phone before he hung up.

He leaned back on the shelter bed he slept on when he worked and stretched out. Tomorrow he will wake up, go out on his rounds, talk to Anne about getting a couple of weeks off work, then go and see his girl.

He couldn't hold back the smile that came to him. She wasn't his girl yet, they hadn't made the complete declaration. But he knew it wasn't far from happening.


	9. Chapter 9

Spike loved spending time with her. Every moment that he wasn't working, he was either thinking about her, talking to her, or hanging out with her. She was perfect for him. They laughed, they talked, they argued. But they did everything while enjoying each other's company. He was falling for her quick and he couldn't help but smile. She might not feel the same for him yet, but that is the key word, yet. She might not love him yet, but it will come. He kept a positive outlook and hoped that one day she would be his.

After spending the last week with her, he decided it was a good a time as any to ask Anne for two weeks off of work. Of course Anne was great about it and even offered him vacation pay. He respectively declined the offer and promised her that he would be back as soon as he possibly could and left to start his 'vacation'.

He got into his black DeSoto and started the engine up, it was time to go pick up Buffy and start his closure. He was dreading going to the storage that he had all of his parents belongings in, but he knew he had to set an example for Buffy. She was more broken then he is. He felt if he couldn't prove that he could face his past and fix his problems, she would feel that there was no hope for her. He couldn't let her think that low of herself. So he took a deep breath and put the car in gear.

"Time to get over the past, and embrace the future, mate." He said to his reflection in the rear-view mirror and headed off to pick up Buffy.

________________________

He knocked on the door and waited for her to open. There was no answer, so he waited a little bit then knocked again. Again, there was no answer so he leaned his ear up to the door and knocked one more time. On the inside he heard some scuffling, a bang, a muffled "Fuck me! That hurt." he snickered and then knocked on the door again but this time with both of his fists... Very hard and fast.

"Hold. On! Jeez." She screamed from the other side and he started to laugh.

"Any slower and I will be a year older, luv," He said loud enough to be heard through the door. When she opened it she was wrapped up in a towel, her hair hanging in those damp waves he liked so much, he looked at her and smiled. Hopefully concealing the wave of lust that was currently making itself known to him. "Hello, kitten!" He laughed and took her into his arms for a hug.

He left her arms limp at her sides and sighed. "Your irritating, you know that?"

"It's not the first time you told me that. Except the first time I believe you said..." He tilted his head and thought about her previous insult. "Infuriating... Correct?" He asked and held her tighter, giving her the hint he wanted his hug returned.

"Well, your both! Infuriating and irritating. Don;t ever forget about it." She smiled back at him and wrapped her arms around him and squeezing.

"I wouldn't dream of it. I have a few choice words for you too, but we won't get into that right now." He chuckled and kissed her lightly on her lips.

She slapped him playfully on the arm. "Just give me a few moments to get myself all nice looking, then we will head out kay?" She untangled herself from his hold and went over to the dresser.

He watched her and held his breath. He wanted nothing more than to throw her onto the bed, unwrap the towel that covered her wet and naked body, then shag her senseless. But he had to practice restraint. It was very hard, considering that she was currently bent over and rummaging through the bottom drawer of the dresser. He brought his hand down to adjust himself, taking away some of the tightness in his pants. 'God, she is doing this to torture me. Why does she have to torture me?!' He thought to himself and turned around, took off his duster and draped it over the hook on the door.

When he heard the soft click of the bathroom door, he let out the breath he was holding and let his shoulders sag a bit. He was going to be horny all day now. He took of his shoes then laid down on her bed and turned on the T.V while he waited.

When a commercial came on, turned his head to the side and inhaled a deep breath through his nose, inhaling the smell of Buffy's hair from her pillow. 'She smells delicious. Why are you sniffing her pillow you pillock!' He groaned and rolled his eyes. He shot up from her bed, quickly put on his shoes and duster then let himself out for a smoke.

He was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't hear Buffy come out side until she snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Huh? What? Oh... Sorry Buffy, I zoned out there for a minute. You ready?" He shook his head and threw the cigarette butt over the railing.

"Yup, I'm all prettied up and ready for some digging through Spike's past." She smiled up at him and linked her arm through his.

________________________

The drive to the storage units was made in comfortable small talk with random bouts of silence. They both knew that no matter how much they would rather spend the car ride talking and laughing with her, he needed to prepare. He needed to get himself ready for the dose of reality he had been unwilling to take before. As he made the final turn into the driveway she took a deep breath. 'You sure you can do this? Can you be strong for him?' She thought to herself as she played with her hands in her lap.

He pulled into a parking spot that was the farthest from storage unit #17, he wanted to prolong the inevitable a little more. He shut off the car and looked over toward Buffy. "What are you thinking about, luv?" He asked and reached for her hand.

"Lots of things." She sighed and reached for the door.

He leaned over and stopped her. When she looked at him he took a deep breath and looked deep into her eyes. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. You know that right?"

"I know. But I want to be there for you."

He put his hand on her neck and brought her closer for a chaste kiss. He rested his forehead against hers and held back some stray tears. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Thank you." He whispered and kissed her again.

She simply nodded and pulled back. "Come on, hun. Let's do this. Together." She squeezed his hand and opened her door, stepping out into the afternoon sun.

He got out of his side and ran around to her side and took her hand in his. She offered him a small, reassuring smile and took the first steps, pulling him along with her. He was reluctant for the first steps but then he grew more confident. He had her beside him, he could do this. He could be strong and get through this.

The walk wasn't very long, he kept looking back and forth between the girl who own the hand he was clutching like a life line and the storage door he was dreading. "You can do this, mate. It's going to be fine. You can do this.' he thought to himself and squeezed Buffy's hand a little tighter as they stopped in front of the door.

Buffy looked up to the man that was currently looking like a scared little boy. "Spike," she said softly, turning to stand between him and the door. "Listen to me. You can do this. We can do this," She wrapped her arms around his body, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere I promise."

He held on for a little bit longer and then he nodded mutely. "Okay." She said and leaned down to take hold of the door handle. "You ready?" She asked him, squinting her eyes to block out the sun rays his body failed to cover.

He nodded again and she gave the door a swift tug. Pulling the storage door up and letting Spike's memories of his parents be bathed in sunlight for the first time in three years.


	10. Chapter 10

They had already been sorting threw the boxes if his parents stuff for about an hour. Her never said a word unless spoken to, letting him silently remember things from his past. If he needed to talk he would so she left him alone.

She was looking through picture, giggling at Spike's baby pictures and smiling at family portraits. She saw one of his parents, the background was a beautiful rose bush. She wanted to know the memory behind it and to get him talking about it so she handed him the picture as asked him what had happened the day it was taken.

He took a deep breath and looked at the picture in his hands. "I miss you." He whispered as he ran a finger down the side of the picture of his parents who were wrapped in a warm embrace and smiling at the camera.

He remembered taking that picture of them. "We had just got back from a family picnic. I was 15," He smiled and turned the picture to show to Buffy again. "He all helped make the food. Ham and Swiss sandwiches, potato salad and assorted fresh veggies and dip. It was a good day," He put the picture down and picked up another. It was of him and his father. Spike was no older than 7 and he had a blue helmet on and 'attempting' to ride a bike, his father holding on to the back. Will Sr. was laughing and pointing straight ahead, William Jr. was also laughing with his feet off the peddles. "Obviously, my da' was teaching me to ride my new bike. Best day of my childhood... Up until the part where I ran into a rock, did a face plant and ended up with this scar." He said flatly and pointed to his scarred eyebrow.

Buffy giggled and reached over to touch it. "A good day for a little scar, I think it was worth the trade. Don't you think?"

"Yeah. I suppose. Though at the time, not so much. They took to get some ice cream after I got the stitches," He tilted his head and thought for a moment. "So I got over the 'shit factor' of the day quickly." He chuckled.

"Seems like you had a good relationship with your parents." She said and quickly regretted it.

He shot his head up at her and scowled. "Yeah I did. Did being the key word. I made their last two years of their life bleeding hell at home. They didn't need to take my shit, but they did. They never stopped trying to show me they cared. But when they did I always threw it in their face!" He said and walked over to a rocking chair. "See this chair? My mum used to sit in this chair and sing to me when I was sick, scared, angry, had a bad day. It didn't matter to her what I was feeling, if I wasn't happy she sang, talked, joked until I was better." He violently pushed it over and picked up a chess table. "My da' and I sat at this table for half of a day. He taught me how to play then spent the rest of the day trying to beat me at it. I never let him win. Not once." He yelled and threw the table at the wall, causing it to break in two pieces.

Buffy winced, she knew he was going to regret that, considering that the table was in the 'take home' pile. She was happy that the rocking chair was still intact because it also was in the same pile.

He picked up his father's cigar case, still holding some cigars inside. "On my 16th birthday, my dad let me have one of these. It made me cough up a lung but I still smoked it to make him happy. I was about half way through before he took pity on me and told me I didn't have to smoke it. My mum was royally pissed at him for letting me light it up in the first place." He smiled and looked up at Buffy, his eyes quickly filling up with tears. "She always knew how to put him in his place." He set them back down and picked up a picture. "This is me. When I turned all punk." He picked up a different picture and handed them both to her. "That's what I looked like compared to this."

She looked at them both, her eyes switching back and forth between them. In one he looked cute, healthy, and well brought up. Glasses, sandy blond hair all curly and hanging in his face. He had a tweed suit on which made her want to giggle. She never imagined someone like him wearing something like that. His face was slightly tilted up and he had a huge beaming smile on his face his eyes half closed. His hands holding on to the lapels on his tweed jacket, making him look like the proud son. His father standing beside him with his hand on Spike's shoulder.

The other one he looked hot but also run down, angry, depressed. Like he was hiding the real him. Putting up a facade to hide the real him. His bleached hair was pulled back in his usual style she still seen today but everything else was different. For one, he was wearing eyeliner, which she thought was kind of weird in a cute way. He had a slightly baggy 'Sex Pistols' t-shirt on with safety pins and some rips down the front, tight black jeans, also with some safety pins and rips, clunky chains around his neck and wrists and rings on most of his fingers. He was holding his hand out to the camera as if he was waving but his shoulders were slumped and he had a obviously fake smile on, as if the camera holder were making him have the picture taken

"That picture was taken 2 weeks before they passed. I told them I was going to a school football game but I was really going to my girlfriend Cecily's house to get high." He stated as he picked up the chair he knocked over and sat in it.

"Spike..."

"No. Don't say anything," He said and held up a hand. "There is nothing you can say to make it any better. They died." He picked up the picture of his parents on the day of the picnic, tears forming in his eyes again. "They died, and they didn't even know if their son hated them or not." The tears started to fall as he brought the picture to his chest. "I was so mad at them, the night they died. They were telling me that I had to go out with them instead of going to the party..."

_~FLASHBACK~_

_"Come on da'! I really want to go!" Spike said as he put on his leather duster._

_"No. I will not say it again. You either come with us to the restaurant or stay at home and sulk. I will not give you permission to a party that you are too young for and really have no place being in. Honestly William, why do you insist on going to these parties anyway?" William Sr. asked._

_Spike clenched his fists and jaw. "It's Spike. Stop calling me William. I'm not the same kid with a ponce name anymore."_

_"My name happens to be William as well."_

_"Which makes you a ponce too!" Spike shouted._

_"What is all the noise. Do be quiet Spike, I do not wish to start my evening with a headache." Anne said as her husband helped her put on her jacket._

_"See! Why can't you be more like mum? She calls me Spike."_

_"I called you William at birth and I will call you William now. Besides, Spike? Seriously." William Sr. replied with an eye roll. "Have you made your decision yet?"_

_"Yes. I have actually." He crossed his arms and tilted his head. "I am going to stay home and 'sulk'"_

_"Please William, indulge your mother." She smiled sweetly_

_"I want to go to the party."_

_"And I said no, you're not going. We want you to come with us." William Sr. put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Join us?"_

_Spike shrugged it off and walked up the stairs. "No! I'm nearly eighteen anyway - I can't wait to be out of this goddamn house and away from you two!" He hollered and slammed him bedroom door._

_~END FLASHBACK~_

Tears were pouring from his eyes as he rocked on the chair. "I regret it. I shouldn't have said that! Why did I have to say that?!" He yelled and slammed his fist down on the arm rests.

Buffy moved closer to him and put on hand on his knee and another over his fist." Spike, I understand you are hurting right now. But I bet you didn't really mean it at the time either. Also, you--"

"That's not the point, Buffy!" He stood up quickly, nearly knocking Buffy over. "I still said it! I should never have changed to fit in, it wasn't who I was. They knew it. I knew it."

"Exactly! They knew it wasn't you. They knew you didn't mean it." She said softly, standing up cupping his cheek. " They knew you lo--"

"Loved them? Yeah, bloody great way in showing it too," He rolled his eyes. "I deserved to have them taken away from me, but they didn't deserve to die."

"You didn't deserve anything. They knew you loved them, hun. I'm sure you weren't like that all the time. I even find it hard to be bitchy 24/7" She smiled, causing him to smirk a little, giving her hope. "Don't do this to yourself. They knew." She pulled him into a hug and he squeezed her, holding on to her like she was his life line.

"I wish I could turn back time, erase what I put them through. I miss them so much, Buffy. I will never have them back and it kills me. I just wish I could feel his hand on my shoulder and see her sweet smile. Never again... Never"

She didn't know what to do or what to say. She couldn't imagine what he was going through, she never really had parents to lose. All she could do was be there for him and reassure him that they knew he loved them and that she would help him through this. So she held him while he cried, whispering soft reassuringly in his ear until he was done.

He stiffened up and sniffed. "Right, ready to go, then? I think I'm done here now." He said she picked up the rocking chair and table. "Can you grab that box there?"

She nodded her head and picked up the box. "Let's go."

They packed everything in the backseat of his DeSoto with the rocking chair in the trunk. She helped him get everything into his apartment and they settled down to watch a movie.

She kept stealing glances over at him and worried her lip between her teeth. She wanted to ask him is he was okay, but she was afraid that would set him off again. She fiddled with her hands in he lap and looked at him again.

"You okay, pet?" He asked her, catching one of her not-so-secretive glance out of the million she 'got away' with.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm the definition of fine. Fine is me!" She said with a giggle.

"Once more with less feeling, luv" He smiled and pulled her into his side, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and kissing the top of her head. "Not into the movie?"

"Not exactly," She sighed and snuggled into him further. "I was just wondering if you know... You were okay?"

"I'm good. Tired too. I think I will go to bed soon." He said and clicked off the TV with the remote.

"Oh, okay. I will just get out of your way then. I can walk home, it's no big. You just rest up and make sure to call me tomorrow." She got up quickly and kissed his forehead. "Thanks for the Pepsi.. And the popcorn"

"Where do you think your going?" He grabbed her leg and pulled her back down to the sofa. "First of all, I wouldn't let you walk home alone at this time of night, are you crazy? And second of all, I'm to knackered to drive, or walk you anywhere so your just going to have to spend the night." She smiled and picked her up. "You can have my bed, I will take the couch."

She argued with him all the way to his bedroom, she didn't need to take his bed. "I don't mind the couch, really." She said as he dropped her down on to the bed. "Oomph. Thanks Mr. Gentleman. So very kind of you!" She smiled a fake smile and picked up a pillow. "Don't make me hit you with this."

He smiled with her as she snuggled under the blankets. "Can I hold you for a bit?" He asked and ducked his head, afraid that she would reject him.

When she lifted the blanket for him to join her, she smiled like a little boy on Christmas morning and leaped under the covers, both bursting out in a giggles.

When they were both situated, one their sides, facing each other and arms wrapped around each other, Spike kissed her chastely and gave her a weak smile. "Thanks for today, luv. For everything. I don't think I could have done it alone. Damn near killed me today."

She smiled back at him, giving him a little squeeze. "Anytime, any day. You need me and I'll be there. I maybe short, but my shoulders are strong. Lean on me."

"Lean on me, when your not strong. I'll be your friend--" Spike's song was interrupted by a flick to his ear.

"I'm serious! Don't mock me!" She said with a yawn.

"You must be tired. I'll just go now." He frowned and went to stand up.

"No. Stay with me. I would like to be held tonight and I'm sure you would, too"

He smiled lazily at her and leaned back down. "Would love to, pet." He wrapped his arms around her again and leaned in for a kiss.

When they pulled back, they both looked each other in the eyes. Both wanted to continue the kiss but not sure if it was time to cross that bridge. Spike was worried that she might not be ready for more. Buffy was worried he might want more than a make-out session. Buffy began to bite her bottom lip and he groaned.

He pulled Buffy closer to him and smashed his lips to hers. He couldn't resist. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue came out and licked her bottom lip, begging to be let in. She opened her mouth and let their tongues tangle. She had never been kissed so passionately and so lustfully by any of her ex boyfriends. Her heartbeat sped up and her panties moistened. If she didn't end this soon, she wouldn't be able to end it.

Spike was fighting a loosing battle. He wanted her so badly he could practically taste it. He was trying to hold back for her but when she moaned into his mouth, his eyes rolled up beneath his eyelids and he started to grind the evidence of his arousal onto her thigh.

She thought she imagined it. She wasn't sure if he had really done it so she waited to see if he would do it again. His hand started trailing up her arm and then run through her hair, holding her in place. He started to grind his hard length into her again then he leaned forward on her until she was on her back. She stiffened a bit, growing uncomfortable with the situation and he took notice and pulled away. "Something wrong, luv?" He asked, voice deep and lustful.

"I'm sorry. I can't. It's to soon. I know we have already done.. That... But the next time I want it to be right. I want it to be..."

He cut her off with a chaste kiss, then another on her forehead. "No need to explain. I understand. I just want you so bad sometimes. I don't know what you do to me, but whatever it is... I like it." He smiled and pulled her back onto her side, letting her snuggle into his chest. "Go to sleep now, Buffy. I will see you in the morning. Goodnight."

She mumbled her goodnight and closed her eyes, quickly falling into dreamland.

He stayed awake for a little bit longer, listening to her breathing and feeling her in his arms. 'What ever it is that she does to me.. I know exactly what she does to me. I'm head over heels for the girl, and this is only the beginning.' He thought to himself and smiled, following her into a Buffy-filled sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Spike was blissfully warm. The smell of Buffy's hair flooding his nose as it tickled him, making his nose twitch a little. He reached his hand up and smoothed it down her hair, effectively removing the tickle. He wanted to chuckle but didn't want to wake her, so he settled for a smile. His hand ran down her arm, feeling the smooth skin as it glided and stopped on her tiny waist. _'Gotta' fix that. My... Not mine, just Buffy. Buffy needs more weight, thin as a rail, she is.'_ He thought to himself and nuzzled his nose further into her golden hair.

She was awake. Fully aware of the affection the man, who was currently spooning against her back, was giving her. Unaware that she was consciously memorizing everything. The way his hand felt as it coasted down her upper body and laying to rest at her waist. The way he seemed to mould perfectly against her in the most delectable way. The way he was nuzzling her head with the tip of his nose and smelling her hair. The way his erection felt against her butt... _'Whoa! Hold on! Erection?!'_ she thought to herself, trying her hardest not to stiffen up and continue to pretend to be asleep.

She contemplated what to do in this situation. Should she wake up and get as far from him as possible, or should she...

With a wicked smile on her face, she murmured a 'mmm' followed by a 'Spike' and softly pushed her butt harder against him with a little grind. When she heard him stifle a groan and stiffen up a bit, she smiled again.

_'Did she just... She seriously just did that! And she is dreaming of me!'_ He thought to himself and stifled another groan as she sleepily started to grind against him again. He wanted to look at her face and see what he could decipher. He slowly moved to peek over her shoulder to look at her, when he saw her smile, his jaw dropped. _'The little minx! Oh yeah? Play with fire, your gunna get burnt, luv.'_

With his own wicked grin, the hand that was on her waist tightened a little and he pressed himself even harder against her, bringing forth a real moan from her. He leaned down and pushed the hair off her neck with his nose and started kissing and nibbling the skin he uncovered. "I know you're awake, pet. I saw that smile." He said and groaned when she immediately stopped her grinding.

_'Shit! He caught me!'_ She thought to herself and thought of what to do next. She pushed her full body against him and sighed. "Am not. Hear my snore?" She replied and added a feminine snore at the end.

He chuckled, sending vibrations through her body, then blew some hair on the trail of kisses he left on her neck, causing her skin to raise goose bumps. "What did you do that for, huh? You tease me and I have to let you get away with it. Bloody unfair, that is." He pouted.

She slowly turned toward him and kissed him chastely on his lips. Placing one hand on his shoulder, she gave him a soft push so that he was lying fully on his back allowing her to swing her leg over to straddle his waist quickly. "Then I guess I better fix that then." She whispered seductively, then dove in for another kiss.

When her lips first met his at the beginning of what was to be a searing kiss, his hips jerked up and hit her hot center. She moaned on his lips and he could have sworn his eyes crossed under the lids. Her tongue came out to play, tracing his lips for entry and when granted, she let it tangle with his.

She ran her hands down his sculpted chest and came to rest on the hem line of his shirt, unsure on if she should go further. _'He obviously likes you Buffy! Just go for it, doesn't have to be sex, silly!'_ her voice rang in her head, spurring her on.

She lifted his shirt higher and broke the heated kiss to take it off fully. She briefly wondered if she should be acting so wanton, but then he whispered her name. It rolled off his tongue like her name was the only name he was supposed to say in moments like this. Once the shirt was off she attacked his neck, kissing and nibbling his skin as she worked her way down his body.

He was silently, but surely, going crazy. The way she was taking full control and having her way with him drove his senses wild. Her tongue and lips doing wondrous things to his body as her hair feathered across his skin. He was touching heaven. Or more precisely, heaven was touching him. He would have his chance to touch heaven soon enough, for now he wanted to enjoy this.

She was starting to undo his jeans when he, albeit reluctantly, stopped her. "Buffy," he whispered and placed one hand on hers and his other hand on her cheek. "You don't have to do that, pet. I was joking when I said you were being unfair. You can just keep doing what you're doing. Teasing me and what all. Then I can go have myself a good wank and it will all be better. If you don't feel comfortable doing that you don't have to," he told her, letting his thumb caress her cheek.

"I want to. My first thought this morning was to have sex with you. But I don't think I'm quite ready for that," She started to undo his pants again. "I want to please you. I want to make you feel good."

"Only if you're, fuck, Buffy!" He said breathlessly as she gave his pants a tug and his erection sprang free. She took hold of his shaft and used her thumb to swirl the pre-cum around the tip. "Only if you're sure. I don't want you doing anything out of your comfort zone."

She stuck her tongue out and copied what her thumb did, tasting the pre-cum that coated the head. "Mmmm. I'm sure. You taste so good, Spike."

She marveled at how gorgeous he was. She never thought a penis would look so... Well, appetizing, before. She took as much of his hard cock into her mouth as she could, using her hand to gently rub and squeeze the last couple of inches. He has to be at least 11 inches! She could probably take all of him in but didn't want to test that theory until she was more comfortable. She had a weak gag reflex so that was a plus.

Spike groaned and put his hands in her hair, desperately holding back from thrusting into her hot mouth. He looked down at her and watched as her head bobbed over his cock, her eyes looking up at him and trying to decipher his reaction. He gave her a gentle smile and then threw his head back as her small hand cupped his balls, gently squeezing and playing with them. "Holy fuck, Buffy. So... Uh! Bloody amazing."

As his words made it to her ears, she tried to relax her throat. She removed her hand and placed in on his thigh, massaging the muscles as she lowered her head further down his cock. Once fully inside her mouth, she moaned and swallowed around him, causing his hips to jerk up a bit as he moaned.

"Jesus, Buffy. Fuck!" His mouth went dry at the sight of her, cock fully in her mouth and her nose pushed up against his pelvic bone as she gently bobbed her head. No one had ever even attempted to take all of him in, which just heightened the pleasure more that she would do that for him. "Buffy, luv. You better stop. I'm gunna cum soon." He warned her.

She smiled around his shaft and moaned, sending sinful vibrations down his length and straight to his toes. She swallowed around him some more then slowly raised her head up, then quickly back down, taking him all in again. That did it for him. He fisted the bed sheets as he emptied his load into her throat, moaning and jerking his hips as he experienced pure ecstasy.

She swallowed all he had to offer and then cleaning him up as she tucked him back in his pants. She crawled up his body and she wiped the bit of cum off her chin with her finger then slowly licking it off.

His eyes were glazed over as he watched her do one of the hottest things he had ever seen a woman do. She settled herself on top of him and grinned.

"So? Scale of 1 to 10?" She asked and kissed his cheek, resting her head on his shoulder.

He panted for a little bit then smiled at her. "That was bloody brilliant, luv! You surpass the scale! It was amazing," He told her then put a hand around the back of her neck and brought her down for a passionate kiss. "Best I have ever had. Now it's your turn." He said huskily the flipped her over.

She was laughing as he tickled her for a couple of minutes, wondering how that was anywhere near fair to what she had done for him. "Spike! Quit it! I give you the best blow job of your life and you pay me back with tickles?! Hardly--" She was cut off by the sound of her shirt ripping down the center. "Hey! I liked that shirt! You ripped my shirt!" she said and slapped the top of his head.

"I'll buy you another. A better one. You just relax and let me take care of you."

He huffed and her lip jutted out, she was about to say something back to him but the words came out as a moan as his tongue licked a nipple and his hand dived under her pants.

Today... Today was a good day. She had never had fun while in a sexual moment, it was always serious and seriously boring with Angel, and she had never went down on him or vice versa. A smile bloomed on her face as the first orgasm took over her by Spike's hand. She couldn't wait to find out what else Spike had in store for her. She wanted to learn it all. With Spike as her teacher.


	12. Chapter 12

After their morning oral sexcapades, they individually showered. When they were both done, Spike brought Buffy to the kitchen, via piggy-back ride as she giggled and swatted his chest. "Put me down, you weirdo! I'm fully capable of walking you know." She told him while swinging her legs at his sides.

"I know."

"So what is your reason for carrying me then?

"I don't know, felt like it."

"That's a dumb reason."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Put me down already."

"Make me."

"Fine" She lowered her mouth to his shoulder and bite down on his shoulder, not enough to really hurt him but enough to sting.

"Ouch! That hurt!" He whined and let her down.

"Baby."

"Jerk."

"I'm a female. That work doesn't apply to me."

"And how do you figure that, luv?"

"Because jerk is such a male word. I have never heard of a girl being called a jerk."

"Well now you have." He smiled and turned to her so he could put his hands on her waist. "What do you want for breakfast? I have eggs, bacon, toast, the works."

She tilted her head upward and thought about it for a moment. She tapped her finger to her chin then gasped in realization. "Ohh! I know! Waffles. But not just any ordinary waffles. I want strawberries and chocolate sauce and whipped cream and icing sugar on top." She smiled and shrugged her shoulders at his confused face. "You asked me what I wanted. But since the look on your face tells me that you don't have those things right now, I will settle for a... Cheese omelet?"

"That I can do. To drink?"

"Surprise me... Loser-face." She stuck her tongue out at him then ran into the living room, diving onto the couch in a fit of giggles.

"Oi! That was uncalled for, luv. I think I might have to retaliate." He called to her from the kitchen.

"You wish, mister." She hollered back then flipped on the T.V, settling down to enjoy her breakfast, a morning cartoon, and the presence of Spike.

________________________

She was having so much fun. They hung out all day and just relaxed and did some verbal sparring. He was taking her to the movies, he was gone to get some popcorn as she sat in her seat and watched the trailers.

She was surprised at how comfortable they were with each other. She knew she could trust Spike with almost anything. When she thought about him, she would get this look on her face. Not just _any_ it was _the_ look. The one that says 'I-falling-in-love-with-a-total-sweetheart'.

She was happy and yet totally frightened. She gave her heart out to someone already and they broke it... Twice. She didn't know if she was ready to let Spike in, not sure if she could trust him with the most fragile part of her yet. He hadn't really asked her to be his girlfriend so she didn't really know what he wanted from her. She thought back to see if he mentioned anything about relationships to her. _'What was it he said? I think it was "If you want to have a go at a relationship, I'm fine with that."... How ambiguous.'_ She frowned a little at the thought as she stared up at the big screen ahead of her.

He was standing in line, thinking about everything that went on today. He had totally fallen for her. Everything about her made him feel like he was on fire as he danced in the flames. The way she made him feel was amazing and unlike anything he had ever felt for another person. It was all new and very exciting.

Although she had never told him, he knew she was afraid of commitment, scared to let anyone into her heart and give them the chance to break it on her again. He wanted nothing more than to find this Angel guy and rip his throat out for ever hurting his angel. Almost ruining her heart, which he so desperately wanted to hold. All he could do was be patient and wait for her to let him into her heart.

He mentioned a relationship to her once, but it was like she totally ignored it. She didn't say anything to him about it and that upset him.

With a slight frown on his face, he headed back toward the darkened room that she was in. Thinking of a good way to bring the relationship topic up again. Without her pushing him away because of it.

They both sat silently in his car as he drove her to the hotel. They were lost in their thoughts about the other and what was to come of their relationship after the trip to Sunnydale.

"Guess this is my stop." Buffy said as he pulled into the parking lot.

"Guess so." He sighed and put the car in park.

_'When did things get so awkward between us?'_ They both thought to themselves.

"Look, I--"

"You go first."

"No, you." They both said at the same time.

"That was weird." Buffy smiled awkwardly and played with her hands on her lap. "You go first. I insist."

"Well two things. One, I picked up our tickets for the day after tomorrow. So you should go and start packing what you want to bring with you. And two--"

Her eyes widened and she nodded her head. She had so many confused feelings going on inside her she just wanted to bolt. Thinking about her parents on top of how he might feel for her was too much. "Okay, I will." Buffy said quickly then opened her car door and stepped out onto the pavement. "It's late Spike, I should go--"

"No, Buffy. Wait a few more minutes, please."

"I really can't. I'm tired and it's late. Rain check on the convo for tomorrow?" She waited for him to reply. When he nodded she gave him a small smile. "I will call you tomorrow. Goodnight, Spike." She shut the door and ran up the stairs to her room, quickly letting herself in and locking the door behind her.

She didn't feel ready to go back to her parents house yet. She knew going there was only going to open more wounds and upset her. She didn't know if she even had Spike to be there for her afterwards, so she was terrified. Millions of questions where swimming around her mind. Her parents, Angel, Spike.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, she sighed and went to lay on her bed. She thought a couple of things through in her mind as she stared up at the ceiling. What was going to happen when she landed in Sunnydale? What would happen if she and Spike ran into Angel? What did Spike expect from her? She started to plan for the worst for all of the situations.

She had ran away from Spike, and now, all she wanted was to curl up in his arms and feel safe, protected and warm again.

She sat up and ran her hand through her hair. It hadn't been too long since Spike left and she really wanted to see him. Instead of picking up the phone to call, she put her jacket back on and ran out of the door.

________________________

He stepped into the elevator and pushed the third floor button, still thinking about how oddly Buffy had behaved when she got out of the car. He wanted to run after her but he didn't understand where he really stood with her anymore. So he decided to just go home and call her once he settled into bed.

_'Why are you so confused, mate? You love her, she likes you... Go for it, you git!'_ He thought to himself as he unlocked his door, let himself into the apartment and took off his duster. War still going on in his mind, he walked to his room and got undressed and slid under his sheets._ 'The bed still feels warm, almost as if Buffy never left.'_ He smiled and slid his arm out to where she had slept the night before.

"What the... Harmony?!" He hollered and jumped out of his bed, sheets wrapped around his waist and uncovering a very naked Harmony.

"Hey, Spikey." She said in a tone that would only sound seductive to herself while running her hands up her waist to cup her breasts. "Miss me?"


	13. Chapter 13

"What the... Harmony?!" He hollered and jumped out of his bed, sheets wrapped around his waist and uncovering a very naked Harmony.

"Hey, Spikey." She said in a tone that would only sound seductive to herself while running her hands up her waist to cup her breasts. "Miss me?"

"Harmony, do be specific and tell a bloke just exactly what your doing here?" Spike said as he threw an extra sheet over her.

She tossed the sheet off of her and crawled across the bed, kneeling in front of him. "I missed you, Blondie Bear. And I have a feeling you missed me too." She bounced on the bed and twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "So lets make with the awesome make up sex."

He watched as her tits bounced and felt his cock twitch. He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her off his bed. "Put your clothes on and get out. I don't miss you, I will never miss you, now leave." He growled, giving her a slight shake.

She moaned as his fingers dug into her skin. "Oh, Spike. I know you like it rough, baby. Please don't try to hide your feelings, I can see you want me." She giggled and looked pointedly at his growing erection. She leaned up and wrapped her arms around his neck, crushing her body against his in what she thought was a hot kiss.

Buffy was in the elevator. On her way up to his apartment to let him know what she thought about everything. She needed him to know that she wanted to be with him. She needed to talk about Sunnydale and her fear of running into Angel.

She got to his door and was about to knock when she heard a female moan and muffled talking. Instead of knocking she quietly opened the door, curious as to why another female was moaning in his apartment after what happened between them that morning. She tip-toed down the hall and pushed open the door.

She saw him. She saw everything. A naked blonde woman with bigger boobs and longer legs. Everything she felt she wasn't, was kissing Spike. And he was responding. Holding her shoulders in a bruising grip.

Her eyes watered and she held back a sob. "Spike?" She whispered.

Spike pushed Harmony away and turned to the nearly crying woman he had fallen for. "Buffy!" He pushed Harmony away from him and ran over to her. "I know it sounds cliche, but it's _not_ what you think." He said and took hold of her shoulders.

Having him touch her was disgusting her at that moment, not knowing where those hands had been in the last 20 minutes. She shrugged his hands off and gave him a half-hearted smile. "It's okay, Spike. You don't owe me an explanation. I totally understand. I'm not your girl anyway, right?" She said and went to turn away.

"No! Buffy, please. Let me explain!" He took her hand in his as pulled her toward him. "Will you let me explain?" He asked pleadingly.

"Spike, you don't have to explain. Really, I'm fine." She tried to pull away again but he tugged her back in place.

He dropped to his knees and went to open his mouth to talk but was cut off by Harmony's giggle. "Seriously, Spike. Just spare the girl her feelings and let her go. Give your _actual_ girlfriend a good fuck."

Buffy shot her head toward her and scowled and Spike growled and clenched his jaw. "Shut your gob, Harm. You are not, and never will, be my girlfriend."

Overwhelmed with jealousy and rage, Buffy walked over to Harmony, cocked back her fist and slammed it into her face. She smiled when she heard her nose crunch and walked back to Spike. "Have fun, Spike." She walked down the hall and listened to Harmony squealing "The bitch broke my nose!"

Feeling like her half mended heart was going to shatter again, she slammed the door with as much force as her punch, walked down the hall and out of Spike's life.

_______________________

She ran to her room and packed everything up as fast as she could. She didn't want to use any more of _his_ money or inconvenience _his_ life any further.

_'I thought he wanted to help me. I thought he wanted to be with me. Why do I always pick the assholes? Why do I let them break my heart?'_ She thought as she cried and packed her back pack up, leaving behind the stuff Spike had gave her.

Hoping her little shack hadn't been taken, she picked up her guitar case and walked out of the hotel as the phone started to ring. _'He calls me?! He calls me after that, but won't come and face me? Screw him. I don't need him. I don't need anybody.'_

______________________

"Get dressed and get out, Harmony." He told her, trying to remain calm as he clenched his fists at his side. "Now!"

She was slowly putting her clothes on as blood trickled from her swollen nose. "Fine. But when Little Miss Butch decides she doesn't want you, don't come running back to me. I wont take you back, you know!" She screamed at him and stormed toward the door. "Oh, and you might want to pick a different hiding place for your spare key. I mean come on, under the welcome mat?" She scoffed and tossed his keys, causing them to bounce off his chest and jingle as they hit the floor. "Man up, you big baby." She rolled her eyes and left his apartment.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves as he heard the door being slammed for the second time that night. Not thinking about what he should do, he ran to the phone and dialed the number he had memorized, begging who ever was out there to make her answer. When she didn't he took the next course of action and got dressed and ran out of his apartment down to his car.

He would chase her to the end of the world. He would catch her again and bring her back. He had to... He needed her.

She got to the shack and eased the door open slowly, praying that she could stay here for the night and leave again in the morning. She didn't want Spike to come find her and she knew he knew about this place. Sighing a breath of relief, she walked into the empty shack and slid the door shut.

She couldn't believe she let him break her again. She wasn't even aware that she had fallen for him. Finding this out should have been a happy moment, but it only made her chest want to burst with pain. She rolled out her blankets on the floor and curled up into a ball, letting the proverbial dam burst as waterfalls poured from her eyes.

She let things get too far. First they had sex, then she got attached to him and fell for him, then she shared a wonderful morning together, then he broke her heart. She deemed all men the same and wiped the tears from her face. "I'm not going to cry anymore. He doesn't deserve my tears." She said to herself and slid her bag closer to her.

Opening it up and taking out her journal, she flipped to a new page and wrote a new song.

_______________________

He pulled into the hotel parking lot, ran up the stairs and skidded to a stop in front of her door and knocked wildly. "Buffy! Please, baby, open up! I need to talk to you." He called out and waited for a reply.

He heard nothing and he sighed. "Please Buffy. I want you know know what happened. If I have to talk to you through this door I will." He leaned his ear up to the door and hear nothing but silence. "Alright, then. Harmony used my spare key and went into my house without my permission. I didn't want her there and I tried to tell her that but it wouldn't go through her incredibly thick skull."

Still hearing nothing he continued. "You came at the worst moment. She forced herself on me. I swear on everything that means the most to me that is what happened. I want to be with you, not her. Please let me in. I love--"

"Hey, buddy? You do realize she isn't in there, right? She left earlier. In quite a hurry too. Don't know where she ran off to though." The hotel manager said from behind him.

He sighed and looked down at the floor. "Thanks, mate," He didn't know what to do anymore, so he turned and went to walk away. "Wait, the room is paid for the night on my credit card. Can I stay here?" He asked.

"I don't see why not, if you paid for it. Go ahead."

Spike smiled a little then fished the extra key out of his wallet. He opened the door and let himself in, not bothering to take off his duster or shoes, he crawled on her bed and looked around. "She left the things I bought her." He whispered out loud and let a single tear fall.

_"I hurt the girl"_


	14. Chapter 14

He had been looking for her for three days now. Three long, lonely days. He tried everything! Tried looking in other hotels, her old shack, abandoned buildings, even parks. She was no where to be found. He was starting to dread what could have happened. Is she dead? Is she dead in some ditch somewhere or a 'Jane Doe' in a morgue? Did she leave the city? Did she resume her search for that Angel ponce? _'Where the bloody hell is she? I'm going insane without her.'_ he thought to himself as he checked her old shack again.

Empty. He sighed and slid down the brick wall across from the door. He ran his hands through his hair and groaned. He wanted to make things right again. He didn't want to loose her.

He was sitting there for a good ten minutes before he heard it. The faint sound of a guitar and a beautiful tune. Hoping it might be her, he took off running toward the source of the sound.

Its how he met her, maybe her music will bring them together again.

________________________

She had been avoiding him. She had seen him a couple times, and it always had the same effect. She would feel a sharp pain in her stomach and then run inside or behind a building to stay out of his sight.

She knew she could leave the city itself, but it was home to her now. She wanted to be here and she was used to it. She would just have to live there and avoid him as best as she could.

She was feeling a little bit better today, three days after running away from the man she thought she could trust. Away from the second man she gave her heart to. Deciding she needed more money to feed herself, she picked up her guitar and walked to the park.

It was her favorite park, under her favorite tree with her favorite guitar. She plopped down under the tree and extracted the guitar from its case, leaving it open so people could drop their money in. She was going to start with her usual beginning song, but decided she wanted to play her new one. She took the pick out from between the strings and took a deep breath. This song was all about what had happened three days ago.

She took another deep breath to calm her belly and started to pluck the strings as she began the song. _'Here goes nothing...'_

It was the same park. He remembered it like it was yesterday. Quickly running to where he found her, he saw her. Her eyes were closed as the song began. She looked like she could play the song backward and forward. He sat down on the ledge, turned slightly toward her and listened to the song. Using all of his willpower to stop himself from scooping her up in his arms and peppering kisses all over her face.

_Say you're sorry_

_That face of an angel_

_Comes out just when you need it to_

_As I paced back and forth all this time_

_Cause I honestly believed in you_

_Holding on_

_The days drag on_

_Stupid girl,_

_I should have known, I should have known_

She felt him there, his eyes boring into her as she sang her song. She wanted to run, but she wanted him to know how much he had hurt her as well. She chose to keep her eyes out as she sang the song, knowing that if she looked at him, she would cry.

When he heard the first line, he knew she was singing about that ponce. 'Looks _like she really was fine about you with Harmony, mate. She doesn't want you. Might as well leave her alone...'_ His thoughts were cut off as he heard the chorus. He knew then that she wasn't singing about Angel. She was singing about him.

_I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale_

_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,_

_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,_

_I was hopeful before you went and let me down_

_Now it's too late for you_

_And your white horse, to come around_

_Baby I was naive,_

_Got lost in your blue eyes_

_And never really had a chance_

_My mistake, I didn't wanna be in love_

_You had to fight to get me to hang around_

_I had so many dreams_

_About you and me_

_Happy endings_

_Now I know_

He was really hating himself. He could practically feel the emotion pouring out of her in waves. He really hurt her. How would he gain her trust back again? How could he make things right between them again? Wishing he knew what to do, he went on listening to her beautiful voice.

_I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale_

_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,_

_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,_

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down_

_Now it's too late for you_

_And your white horse, to come around_

She decided to open her eyes. Bracing herself for the hurt so she could look him in the eyes as she sang the rest of the song. Hoping that it would drive the point home. She didn't want to be with him anymore. She didn't want to risk the pain anymore.

He was shocked when she looked right at him. She knew he was there all along, she knew that he knew the song was about him. He looked longingly at her, hoping that she would see the pain he felt that he had hurt her in such a way. He never wanted to be the cause of that pain.

_And there you were on your knees,_

_Begging me for forgiveness, begging for me_

_Just like I thought you would, but you're not sorry_

_Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale_

_I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well_

_This is a big world, this is just one town_

_You're in my past, yet still hurting me now_

_And its too late for you and your white horse_

_Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now_

_Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa_

_Try and catch me now_

_Oh, it's too late_

_To catch me now_

A single tear ran down her cheek as she went on looking into his beautiful eyes. She quickly wiped it away and put her guitar in the case on top of the change. She closed the case and stood up. She looked at him again in a silent plea for him not to say anything and started to walk away.

"I won't give up on _**us**_, Buffy." He said to her retreating back, smiling when he saw her step falter.

**This song is not mine. It is Taylor Swift - White Horse**


	15. Chapter 15

The next time he ran into her, she was in store picking up water bottles and canned foods like before. "You know, luv... You can always go back to that hotel room I was paying for. Or come and have a nice cooked meal with me, you can spend the night." He said as he walked closer to her.

She stiffened up but didn't turn toward the only familiar voice she knew. "I don't want you to waste your money."

"And the first class tickets I bought that never got used isn't wasting?" He replied. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wanted to take them back.

"Seriously, going to pull that card on me? Well I'm sorry," she turned and started to walk toward him as he backed away from her.

"Seriously, going to pull that card on me? Well I'm sorry," she turned toward him and started to walk toward him as he backed away from her. "I'm sorry that when I wanted to go talk to you about maybe postponing the date of the flight a couple more days, you were too busy kissing your ex-girlfriend! Besides being sorry... Do you want to know what I regret?" She had backed him up into a fridge at the back of the store, squeezing the bottle of water with all that she had as she tried to hurt him. "I regret ever agreeing to this stupid closure thing! But I guess its too late for that, huh? You already got what you wanted with a little extra on the side." She hollered, not caring if she was causing a scene, and walked to the front of the store to pay for her selection while leaving behind a bewildered Spike with his back getting cold.

When she was all paid up, she walked out of the door and Spike clicked out of his stupor, chasing after her and spinning her around. "Buffy, listen to me. I didn't do anything with Harmony! She used my spare key and snuck into my apartment and then when I refused to do anything with her, she threw herself at me--"

"I told you, you don't owe me an explanation!" She cut him off, hearing more than enough. "I don't own you or anything. So... Go away." She waved her hand at him and turned away from him. "I'm still waiting for Angel, anyway." She called over her shoulder at him, lying through her teeth but wanting to get the last word.

"Wait for what? His empty promises of happily ever after? Buffy, why are you going to wait for him? How far are you going to walk for him? You deserve better."

"Oh, so I deserve a guy who will cheat on me instead?"

"No! That's not... Fuck, Buffy! What can I say to make this better? What can I do to prove that it _wasn't_ what you thought?" He begged an answer from her.

"There is nothing you can do Spike. Just leave me alone, please." She started to walk away again when she heard 6 heartbreaking words.

"How did we get here, Buffy?"

She stopped and thought about it for a moment. She knew exactly what happened. The same thing that happened last time, right before she gets hurt and thrown around like a rag doll. She turned her head to the side, allowing him to see the profile of her face and frowned. "I fell in love."

________________________

He stood there, watching her retreating back as he walked away from him. She said she fell in love with him. She told him she had fallen in love with him then walked away.

All Spike could think about were those four words and making everything up to her. Well... And the fact that she had lied about waiting for Angel, blowing her own cover when she said those four words.

He wanted to prove that he really didn't want _anything_ do to with Harmony. He had respected her privacy and didn't follow her to her new location, but that had caused him a lot more stress. Not knowing where she was driving him crazy. He wanted her close to him - within arm's-length or to be a phone call away. Preferably, within arms reach. He wanted everything. He wanted to hear those words again.

When she disappeared from his sight, he made his walk back home. He spent most of his time in her old hotel room. He wanted to be as close to her as possible, since she wasn't around physically, he stayed where some of her things were. He didn't decide to go home until the scent of her hair on the pillow was replaced with his own. So now, he was home. Pacing the foot of his bed, after flipping the mattress and throwing his sheets into the washing machine to try to erase the memory of Harmony. He needed to come up with a way for her to come back to him. Be with him. Trust him. Love him.

He walked out to the living room, flopped down on his couch and scanned the room for inspiration. When his eyes landed on his guitar, he was suddenly overwhelmed with excitement.

He ran to his room and picked up some paper and pens, ran back to the living room and picked up his guitar. A plan already forming in his mind.

He had been working on it all night. He wanted everything to be perfect for her. He needed this to go off without a hitch. Hoping that she would see one, he picked up the stack of flyers and ran out of the door.

He bought himself a stapler and started to get to work. He stayed around the store he found her in and stapled half of the flyers up on every wooden telephone pole he saw. When he was done he jumped into his car and drove to the park and stapled more up around there as well. Reassuring himself that she would see it, he went home to take a nap before everything started happening.

With a smile on his face, he set his alarm for 3:00 PM and slid under his clean sheets.

_______________________

His alarm clock went off and he jumped up. It was time to get ready. She was going to come back to him, or at least take the time to hear him out. He had a quick shower, shaved, and got dressed. Looking and smelling brand new, he picked up his guitar case and headed for the park.

He was surprised to see a little crowd already forming in front of her favorite tree. It was 15 minutes before he was supposed to play anything! He walked around the group and stood under the tree. There had to be at least 8 people, but no Buffy. "Hey, everybody. I'm Spike." He waved and set down his case.

He spent ten minutes setting himself up. Adjusting the guitar and portable amp, the strap and tuning. He glanced around the small crowd and still didn't see her. "She isn't here yet." He said with a frown.

He heard a girl call out, 'Play anyway! She might hear you!'

He nodded his head and cleared his throat.

She was miserable. She wanted to go find Spike and just say 'Fuck what happened. I believe you and I trust you. I was just being stubborn.' But she wouldn't let herself, she just couldn't trust him again so soon after what happened.. Instead, she would wait for him to come for her again, then she would talk to him. She hated that they were so mean to each other the last time that they talked and the way she had ended the conversation. That was a horrible way to tell someone that you're in love with them.

She was deep in her thoughts about what could happen if she did run into Spike again, when she heard two girls talking.

"Hey, are you going to that thing tonight?" Girl #1 asked.

"I don't know, sounds cheesy to me," Girl #2 replied with a roll of her eyes.

"It's romantic! He is playing it under her favorite tree across from the fountain. I know him, he is really hot and works over at the teen homeless shelter." Girl #1 giggled. "If the girl he is singing for doesn't come scoop him up, I just might!"

"What's his name all-knowing-one?"

"Spike," Girl #1 said and pulled Girl #2 towards the park.

Buffy shot up off the bench and ran over to the girls, spinning Girl #1 around with a steel grip on he wrist. "Did you say Spike?"

"Uh... Let go of me, freak," She yanked her arm back and crossed her arms across her chest. "Why were you eavesdropping on my conversation? That is--"

Just answer the damn question, Barbie." Buffy spat, pissed off about her 'steal Spike' threat and lack of question answering.

"Yes, I said Spike. There are flyers everywhere. Try reading one." She laughed and pointed at a tree with a flyer on it. "There's one. Hope it's not to advanced for you."

Buffy ignored the cackling laughter of both girls as she ripped the piece of paper off the tree and read it...

_Begging for forgiveness, Begging for you... I'm so sorry_

_Buffy. If you are holding this piece of paper, don't throw it away. Please read what I have to say. I want things to go back to the way they were before. I want us to be comfortable around each other and I want to have long talks on the phone before bed. I want to argue with you and I want to laugh with you. I want to prove to you that I want you and not that bitch. Please... Please come to your favorite tree across from the fountain today at 4:00 and listen to what I have to say._

_Be my princess?_

_Spike_


	16. Chapter 16

Buffy ignored the cackling laughter of both girls as she ripped the piece of paper off the tree and read it...

_Begging for forgiveness, Begging for you... I'm so sorry_

_Buffy. If you are holding this piece of paper, don't throw it away. Please read what I have to say. I want things to go back to the way they were before. I want us to be comfortable around each other and I want to have long talks on the phone before bed. I want to argue with you and I want to laugh with you. I want to prove to you that I want you and not that bitch. Please... Please come to your favorite tree across from the fountain today at 4:00 and listen to what I have to say._

_Be my princess?_

_Spike_

As tears formed before her eyes, she traced Spike's signature. He was trying so hard, and she wasn't going to let another chance slip by. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before but she was also very scared that something would happen. She wanted to trust Spike again, but she just couldn't yet. Maybe given time, she will.

She looked at the flyer again and noticed the time. It said to be there at 4:00. "Shit!" She said loudly and took off in a run. She didn't want to be late, but it was already 3:55. She would never make it in time. _'Hopefully Spike will wait for me to show up.'_

As she rounded the corner on the street that led to the park, she heard an electric guitar and some faint words, getting louder as she got closer.

_This is the story of a girl,_

_Who cried a river and drowned the whole world_

_And while she looked so sad and lonely there_

_I absolutely love her_

_When she smiles..._

She finally made it, missing only the beginning of the song. She parted her way through the crowd and stood in the front. She didn't smile, she didn't frown, she didn't cry. She just stood there stoically, not wanting Spike to know what she would do until the end of the song.

He finally saw her running toward them at full speed. He watched her part through the crowd and stand in front of him with no expression on her face. It unnerved him. He almost stopped playing and gave up, but something told him to keep going, to give her the chance to listen to his song and then listen to his words. So he went on, smiling down at her like she was his own personal Godsend.

Some people took notice of his beaming smile and looked at the girl in question. Some people 'awed' and some people clapped that she had chosen to come. Either way, the two lovebirds were noticed.

_How many days in a year?_

_She woke up with hope but she only found tears._

_And he can be so insincere,_

_Making her promises never for real!_

_As long as she stands there waiting,_

_Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes!_

_How many days disappear?_

_When you look in the mirror so how do you choose?_

_Your clothes never wear as well the next day,_

_And your hair never falls in quite the same way-_

_But you never seem to run out of things to say..._

_This is the story of a girl_

_Who cried a river and drowned the whole world_

_And while she looks so sad and lonely there_

_I absolutely love her_

_When she smiles..._

Her stoic expression faltered a bit, as he sang about his love for her. She was _not_ expecting a song about love. Possibly about a small liking... A crush maybe, but not love. As realization hit her that she was loved in return, she gasped a little then giggled. Her facade ruined, she beamed up at him with a smile of her own and swayed to the music.

_'Could he be any hotter? Listen to that voice! Its like silk! And look at those hands! Very skilled, in more ways than one!'_ Buffy thought and giggled to herself at her own pun. She watched him as he got more into the song, never taking his eyes off of her unless he was looking at his guitar.

_How many lovers would wait?_

_Just to put of with his shit day after day!_

_How did we wind up this way?_

_Watching our mouths for the words that we say._

_As long as she stand here waiting,_

_Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose!_

_How do you get there today?_

_When you're walking to far for the price of your shoes!_

_Your clothes never wear as well the next day,_

_And your hair never falls in quite the same way-_

_But you never seem to run out of things to say!..._

_This is the story of a girl_

_Who cried a river and drowned the whole world_

_And while she looks so sad and lonely there_

_I absolutely love her_

_When she smiles..._

She loved that he was trying to compete with Angel. Trying to show her that although he made one mistake, Angel had made many. Their relationship was easier and more fun than her angst filled, melodramatic relationship with Angel. She had told him a lot of mean things that he did and promises that he had broke and Spike had expressed a clear warning that if he had ever met Angel, he would do some very violent things to him.

_Your clothes never wear as well the next day,_

_And your hair never falls in quite the same way-_

_But you never seem to run out of things to say..._

_This is the story of a girl,_

_Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!_

_And while she looks so sad and lonely there_

_I absolutely love her-_

_This is the story of a girl;_

_Her pretty smile she hid from the world!_

_And while she looks so sad and lonely there,_

_I absolutely love her..._

No competition! Angel would never even dream of doing this for her, when she had done it a lot of times for him at school talent shows or coffee houses on open mic night. She knew Spike was the one she wanted to be with, she had known for a while now. But seeing him up there singing his heart out for her just made it stronger.

She stepped up onto the curb and walked closer to Spike, standing beside him as he played the last verse.

_This is the story of my (He paused and pointed to Buffy)girl!_

_Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!_

_And while she looks so sad and lonely there_

**_I absolutely love her,_**

_When she smiles..._

_When she smiles..._

As soon as he was done the end of the song, he pulled Buffy flush against him and kissed her passionately as the small group of onlookers clapped and hooted at them.

He brushed another chaste kiss on the tip of her nose and looked into her eyes. "I do love you, just so you know. And I want to make things right between us. Will you let me explain to you? Please?"

"No. Spike," When she saw his shoulders slump and a heartbreaking look on his face appear, she knew that he was innocent. She knew that he loved her. She knew she had to take him back. She lifted his chin to look at her and she kissed him sweetly on his lips. "You don't have to explain because I already believe you. You wouldn't have gone through all of this trouble, if I could prove you guilty, right?"

"No. Buffy. I wouldn't have. I promise you, no one but you has touched me since I met you. But I will still explain, if you want me to. I dont want to give you a reason not to trust me ever, **ever** again."

She smiled at him brightly which caused him to smile in turn. It started to rain and they both looked up into the sky. With both of their faces and clothes wet, she looked back at Spike and whispered: "Take me to your house Spike. Take me home."

He nodded vigorously and started to pack up. Buffy helped him, picking up his guitar case as he carried the portable amp. They walked hand in hand to his car. He popped the truck and placed his stuff inside then closed it. He turned to her and raised his hand to push a strand of wet hair behind her ear. He leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead as he pulled her into another hug. "I love you, Buffy."

She looked up at him and smiled sweetly, placing her hand on his cheek. "I love you too, William."

At that moment, he couldn't have been happier. He loved and was finally loved in return. If it was possible, he fell even more in love with her, as his heart filled with joy.

**This is not my song. It is by Nine Days - Story of a Girl (When She Smiles). Just like White Horse, some of the lyrics have been changed to fit the story better. Thank you for reading and please be kind and review! = ) This is not the end of this fic.**


	17. Chapter 17

They were laying down on the couch and just enjoying each other's company. No one was saying anything, and Spike didn't like that. Thinking about what to say, he came up with "You know I love you right?"

She mumbled a sleepy 'mmhmm'.

"And you know I would never intentionally hurt you, right?"

Another 'mmhmm'.

"Well, I think we need to talk."

She bolted up right with a scared look on her face. "Spike... Are you breaking up with me already?!"

"No, no! Not that. But we have been walking on eggshells around each other for the last two days. My break is over in one week and a day. We haven't talked to each other about that incident at all. And we still need to go to to Sunnyhell." He pulled her down to his chest again and ran a hand through her silky hair. "We can't keep putting it off."

"Spike..."

"No, Buffy. I'm serious. I'm putting my foot down. See my foot?" He pointed to his foot then stomped it on the ground with a 'thud'. "It's down. Now which do you want to go with first? Well I'm not letting you choose, because you will choose Sunnydale first. So I'm going to start with the Harmony situation."

"Spike..."

"Ah ah!" He said and placed a finger to her lips then pointed back to his foot. " I need you to know this. Okay, from the start. I came home that night and I was upset and thinking about you. I got undressed and went into my bed and I reached out to hold you, because I was kind of daydreaming and I thought you were there. When I snapped out of it, there was Harm--"

"SPIKE!!" She said and covered his mouth with her hand. "Just love me.... make love to me, Spike. Let everything come after." She whispered to him then kissed him.

Her tongue came out and swiped along his bottom lip, begging for entry. He opened his mouth for her and she dove in, memorizing everything there was to remember about his sweet kisses. She she pulled away for some much needed oxygen, he looked at her from under hooded eyes. "You know, I'm not going to argue with you on this one. Only because I want you so damn much. But tomorrow, I am booking us a flight, and on said flight, we are talking. You will have no where to run and no way to throw sex at me."

She raised her eyebrows and giggled. "Throw sex at you?"

"I'm a man, and I'm horny. Now get over here!" He growled then pulled her down for another passionate kiss.

He flipped them over and started to grind his already rock solid cock into her thigh. "Oh God, Buffy. I have wanted you so much, for so long." He whispered as he kissed along her jaw line, massaging a breast with the palm of his right hand. "Do you know what you do to me? How you affect me?" He asked her and he nibbled the skin on her neck.

"Tell me, Spike. Tell me how you feel."

"I love you, that's for bloody sure. But you make my skin sing, you make my nerves dance and you make my heart soar. I have never felt anything like it."

He walked his hands down her abdomen, and with a flick of his wrist her pants were undone. He slid his hand under her pants and underwear to manipulate her clit with his fingers. "Do you want to know what else you do to me?"

She moaned a lusty 'yes'

"You make me want to try harder, to do better. You make me want to be a better man. The kind of man that lives in a big house with a white picket fence." He looked at her face as she writhed in pleasure as he inserted two fingers into her wet channel. "I never really saw myself settling down before, but when it comes to you, There is nothing I wouldn't do to keep a smile on your face." He used his thumb to stimulate her clit and sent her into her first orgasm of the night.

She arched her back and humped his hand, making a perfect 'o' with her mouth. Spike watched the beautiful view as he prolonged her orgasm as long as he could. When she came down, she pulled him down and attacked his lips with her own. "Inside me. NOW!" She growled and shoved her pants and underwear down as Spike did the same.

He lifted off his shirt then leaned down to take hers off, making quick work of her bra. They were both completely naked and he smiled at the perfection of her body. "I love your skin, so soft and smooth." He said and started to massage her skin.

"Spike.. Please! I need you inside me." She whimpered.

He chuckled and picked her up, carrying her to his bed. He laid her down gently and crawled on top her, settling between her thighs. He took his hard shaft in his hand and made a couple of passes up and down her slit, coating his head in her hot juices. "I love you." He whispered then kissed the nape of her neck. In one swift thrust, he was buried to the hilt in her tight cunny.

"Oh God, Spike. I love you too.. Uhhn, more."

He tried to wait until she had adjusted to his girth, but she wanted more already. He wanted to take this slow but she wanted it all, fast. Kind of like their first time. With that thought he stopped his thrusts. "Why do I get the feeling that you are rushing this?," he asked her, using the last of his willpower to keep from thrusting and grinding into her.

"Because, I am. But not for the reason your thinking. I have waited so long to make love to you. There will be time for sweet and slow later. I need you now." She gripped the round globes of his butt and pulled him deeper inside of her sweltering heat, swirling her hips to heighten the pleasure. "I want to feel you. Give me all you got, William."

His eyes rolled into the back of his head as she said his real name and swirled her hips against him. He looked into her passion and lust filled eyes and started pumping himself into her with a renewed force, bringing them both closer to completion.

She started to meet his thrust, adding a swirl of her hips every now and then while massaging his cock with her internal muscles. He couldn't help but compare her to all of his lovers he had ever had.

She was by far the best he had ever had.

She closed her eyes as he put his hand between them, rubbing and tweaking her nubbin in time with his thrusts. "No, no. Look at me. I want to feel you as you cum around my cock and see your face as you reach the peak." He whispered and sucked a perky nipple into his mouth.

She had one hand on his butt cheek and another on his head effectively holding him to the actions he was doing, causing her body to overflow with pleasure. She arched her back as her orgasm rushed over her, never taking her eyes off of his.

She writhed and moaned in pleasure as Spike prolonged her climax with his sharp thrusts and touching her sensitive clit. "That's it, luv. Cum for me. I want to feel you drench my cock as you squeeze me into oblivion. You feel so amazing, Buffy."

Her orgasm lasted almost a minute and by that time, she was ready to pass out from pleasure. Noticing Spike hadn't came yet, she tried to flip them over, but her legs were a pile of goo. "Uhhh.. I want to.. want to ride you, Spike." She told him and started to nibble on the skin under his earlobe.

"No problems there, kitten." He smiled and flipped them over, never leaving her the shelter of her strangling quim.

She made her self more comfortable then started to ride him. He placed his hands on her hips, digging his fingers into the soft skin as she bounced on him. "Do you love my cock? Do you love the way it feels as it fills you up?" He asked, using his hands to slam her down harder.

"Oh, Spike.. Uhhn,, I love it. Feels so fucking amazing. I could ride you forever." She cried out and arched her back as his cock hit her g-spot.

Spike leaned forward and took a nipple into his mouth, biting down gently, flicking the tip with his tongue as he worked the other breast with his hand.

She reached down between their bodies and tweaked her hard clit, sending her into another powerful orgasm. She stopped her movements as she rode out her orgasm.

Spike noticed this and held onto her hips as he drilled up inside of her again. "Oh no you don't. Gonna' give you my all." He said and started to play with her clit with his own fingers.

"Oh fuck, Spike. I love you!" She screamed as her body continued to explode with pleasure.

The combination of the pussy walls fluttering around him, her beautiful face showing all the pleasure she was feeling and the sound of her saying "I love you " sent him spiraling into his own orgasm.

He groaned and jerked his hips again, emptying his load into her waiting pussy as she collapsed on top of him.

They were panting and out of breath but Buffy wanted a kiss. She placed her hand on his chest and lifted herself up a bit and kissed him chastely on the lips and blushed.

"You blush after we just fucked each other's brains out?" He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Tha's bloody adorable!"

She swatted his chest and rolled off of him, wrapping her arm around his waist and resting her head against his chest. "Everything you said earlier. I feel the same way." she said smiled up at him.

"You do, do you?" He said and kissed the tip of her nose. "Care to show me?" He raised an eyebrow and looked down at his growing erection.

"Seriously, already?!" She asked and grasped his growing erection with her hand, as if testing to see if he was really ready for another round.

"You know it, baby."

_'Damn that sexy smirk!'_


	18. Chapter 18

"Spike?" Buffy turned toward him and shook his sleeping form. "Spike... Are you up? Please get up."

"Hmm... Wha? Buffy? What's wrong, luv?" he asked sleepily, as he sat up straighter in his chair.

"I will talk to you... I'm willing, now." Her eyes were wide with fear and she was clinging to his arm.

"Buffy..." He let out an amused chuckle at her fear. "Are you afraid?"

She scoffed, let go of his arm and settled in her chair a little. She was trying to cover up how scared she really was. "What? No, I'm just bor-" The plane suddenly shook a little with turbulence. Buffy 'eeped' and clung to his arm again. "Yes! Yes, I am afraid okay?! Just please stay up with me, talk to me, even about… Harmony."

"So... Lemme' get this straight. You _don't_ want to talk because we are in public, but as soon as some air causes the plane to shake your all for it... You're such a baby!" He pointed at her and laughed.

"Am not! I just, don't like planes. Not because I'm scared but because they are... high."

"Sure. Because they are high, okay. I thought you grew up a rich girl. You want me to believe that you never took any 'flights of fancy'?"

"No, my nonexistent parents and allowance didn't allow me to," she looked down at her hands and frowned. "I had never been out of California until I went to New York. And I took a bus there. I've always wanted to go to Rome though." She sighed and started to play with the sleeve of his leather duster. "Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to be just like them. Have a kid and ignore it,get rich and waste it on designer clothes and gourmet vodka."

"You know, I kind of despise your parents." He placed his hand on her cheek and made her look at him. "You don't need them, kitten. You'll never be like them. I won't let you," he smiled at her, then kissed her sweetly. "I love you."

"I love you back," She covered his hand with hers and giggled. "I love hearing you say it."

"So do I. Now, time for the talk, luv. You promised." He clapped his hands and rubbed them together, bracing himself for a potential fight.

Buffy asked, "Can we be drunk?"

"Your not old enough,"

"Say's who?" She smiled and flashed him her fake I.D.

"So, I punched her in the face for really.. no reason?"

"Aside from her sneaking into my house using my spare key, getting in my bed naked, throwing herself at me and causing you to ignore me for 4 and a half days..." He looked up at the overhead compartment and thought about it for a second. "No, you had every right. If we ever run into her, I wouldn't stop you from doing it again." He laughed and took a sip of his rum and coke.

She took the last mouthful of her own rum and coke, finishing it off. "I done good, didn't I?" She laughed as she pushed the button for a flight attendant. "Order me another room and coke. There was nothing mentioned about them sharing the drink

I need to go to the bathroom." She giggled at waved her hand. "You know what I mean."

He watched her leave, looking at her bum sway as she walked._ 'I love that girl.'_ He thought to himself as a broad grin spread across his face. The stewardess showed up and he ordered them a new drink. He was happy that Buffy took the talk well, no tears and no fights. It turned out to be a joke on Harmony, Considering she got turned down **and** punched in the face.

Buffy was on her way back to her seat and Spike was about to get up to let her pass, but Buffy had other ideas. She placed her hand on his chest and pushed him back down, swung one leg over his lap to sit down on him. "Spike... Will you do something for me?" She whispered in his ear as she swiveled her hips on his growing erection.

On instinct, he placed his hands on her hips, as he looked at all the people starting to stare at them. "Buffy! What are you doing?! You have to get off, people are looking!" He whispered at her and tried to lift her off him.

"Fine." She sighed and got off his lap. She giggled as she watched up pull his duster over him to hide the growing bulge in his pants. She fastened her seat belt then looked at him seductively. "I just wanted to tell you a secret." She crooked her finger, beckoning him closer to her.

He leaned in, stifling a groan when she slipped her hand beneath the duster to cup his aching cock. "And what's that, luv." He whispered with a gulp.

With her other hand, she grabbed his lapel and pulled him into a crushing kiss.

Overhead, the pilot came on with his announcement that the plane was landing.

The closer they got to ground, the hotter the kiss got. She put her hand on the back of his neck; playing with the curls there as He slipped his tongue passed her lips. She moaned quietly, allowing him to massage her tongue with his.

They were both so into their kiss, they both didn't notice the plane jerk as it touched the ground. When Buffy heard the ding above her telling them it was safe to remove their seat belts, she pulled back and licked her lips. "I'm afraid of landing the most." She giggled and unstrapped herself.

"Minx!" He growled then started to tickle her, both unaware of the little grope show they put on for the people around them. "Use my lips to distract you!"

"I'm sorry, but you liked it!" She giggled and tried to push him away.

Meanwhile, an old couple was watching them while they had their fun. "I bet the farm that they have an awesome sex life." The old man told his wife, shifting in his seat while adjusting his hat.

"Ugh! Mind your own business!" She scolded him and slapped his chest.

After they got their bags, Buffy and Spike left the airport and waited for a cab.

Buffy took a deep breath, her chest rising as the air entered her lungs. "Home sweet Hell." She sighed, breathing all of the air out.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not _that_ bad. Just your parent's home. The town seems nice... quaint."

"A hell hole that swallows you whole and doesn't spit you out until you're a spoiled little rich girl who is only out for money?" She said flatly and hailed the next cab.

"You didn't turn out that way. Or at least, I hope you didn't." He said nervously.

"No, I left before that could happen. Besides, I didn't know you were rich when I met you. But it helped me like you more." She winked and got into the cab, leaving her bags for Spike to put into the trunk.

"Oh, very nice!"


	19. Chapter 19

Buffy was _so_ dreading this part. She didn't want to knock on _that_ door. She hated every step that Spike pushed her to take. She hated the calming words he was whispering as he pushed her along. The familiarity of the house, the smell of the flowers, she hated it all. Soon enough, she was standing outside the front door and raising her hand to the knocker. "Spike, I can't do this. It's been almost 8 months since I last talked to them. Can I just show up on their doorstep like nothing happened?" She asked and turned to snuggle into his chest.

"It wont be like nothing happened. You will confront them. You will tell them that you are and were unhappy with their parenting. You will let them have it, Buffy," He told her as he smoothed out her hair and kissed her fore head. "Tell them everything you never said before. I will be here with you," he promised, and then put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. "Now knock."

She took a deep breath, then nodded. She raised her hand to the knocker and banged it against the door three times. She was only half surprised when Fred answered the door. Fred was Buffy's favorite maid when she lived there, so she figured her father would have fired her. But no, the tall, skinny brunette answered the door and gasped in surprise and happiness when she saw that Buffy was on the other side. "Oh my... Buffy! It's so good to see you, honey! How are you?" She smiled and pulled her into a bear hug.

"Fred, I have missed you so much! I'm doing great actually." She hugged Fred back and then pulled away. Fred cleared her throat and motioned toward Spike, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, sorry! Fred, this is Spike. Spike, Fred." She introduced, motioning between them with a smile.

"Nice to meet you, Fred." He smiled and shook her dainty hand. He liked this girl; obviously she and Buffy were close so that made her good in Spike's books.

"You too, Spike. I'm assuming that you are her new boyfriend?"

"Yup, he's my man," Buffy giggled and linked their arms together.

"So, just drop by for a visit with an old pal, or is there something you need?" Fred asked after she admired the gorgeous couple in front of her.

"I was hoping to catch my parents..." Buffy said and turned around to look for their car, any sign to indicate that they were home. Seeing nothing, Buffy turned around with a big smile on her face. "But I see they are not here. Well, great catching up with you Fred. I will try to keep in touch! Bye!" She said quickly and tried to pull away, only to be stopped by the very sturdy Spike.

"Not so fast, luv. We are here for a reason, remember?" Spike told her, holding her in place.

"Fine." She grumbled and looked back at Fred. "So, can I see them?"

"Uhhh... Buffy, I thought you knew. Your parents don't live here anymore. This is the Wyndam-Price residence now," Fred blushed and Buffy noticed. "Your parents moved out about two months after you left."

"Couldn't bear the memory of me in the house, huh?" She questioned dryly, adding an eye roll for effect.

"No, Buffy. They didn't move out by choice. They were kicked out." Fred started to fiddle with her apron, not wanting to deliver the bad news.

Buffy was actually shocked by that. Her parents... kicked out? Not possible, her family was the most powerful and the richest, next to the Mayor. "Someone showed up with more money and an eye for this house? I like these people already." Buffy smiled and leaned up to kiss Spike's cheek.

"Not that either. I think you should go talk to your parents, honey. Here, let me get you the address." Fred disappeared from the door for a couple of moments and reappeared just as quick with a pad of paper and pen. She scribbled the address down quickly and ripped the piece of paper from the pad. "Here ya' go. Do you need directions?"

Buffy read the address and then burst into a fit of giggles. "Nope. I can manage! I know how to get there like the back of my hand. Thanks Fred. I have some parents to visit." She hugged Fred quickly as they said their final goodbyes, then set off to find her parents, eagerly tugging Spike along.

"Buffy... What's gotten in to you? A few moments ago you were dreading it, and now you are all... happy. It's bloody confusin'." He asked as he opened her car door for her.

She waited until Spike got in on his side before she answered, still grinning from ear to ear. "Well, it seems that my parents had some financial problems. They are currently living in the Sunnydale trailer park. I think it's a huge laughing matter." She turned to him and took his hand in hers. "Don't you?"

Spike chuckled and gave her hand a squeeze. "Yeah. It is pretty damn funny, pet."

Buffy turned up the radio, willingly listening and singing along to some Sex Pistols as she gave the directions to Angel's old trailer park.

The car ride was filled with laughter and songs. Buffy couldn't remember a time when she was actually thrilled to see her parents. Not since she was a young kid anyway.

Buffy got out and opened the creaky gate for Spike to get his car through, then closed it and got back in the car. She had already had the address memorized, so she told him the street name and trailer number as soon as she buckled herself in.

Pulling into the vacant driveway, Buffy wasn't surprised to see that they also didn't have a car. She looked at the rusty, disheveled trailer and couldn't help but laugh a little bit more. _'I expected something a little more classy, but I guess they haven't been living much better than me these days!'_ she thought to herself before pulling Spike up to the door.

"You ready for this?" She asked him and raised her fist to the almost-falling-off door.

Before she could knock, Spike stopped her. "Buffy, I don't think you should rub it in their face. This is a hard time for them and maybe..."

Buffy scoffed and pounded on the door anyway. "I won't show them sympathy when she didn't show me any."

Spike had to admit, she had a point. But he wanted to tell her that she shouldn't stoop to their level. He was about to tell her just that when an older looking lady opened the door. Her hair was frizzy and her eyes were sad. Along with her sad eyes, one looked nasty and blackened. He was guessing it was Buffy's...

"Hello, mother."

_'Well... that was cold.'_ Spike thought to himself as he waited for her mother's reply.

Joyce took a step back and covered her mouth. She thought she would never see Buffy again. No, she was certain she wouldn't. All Joyce could say was a simple...

"Buffy?!"


	20. Chapter 20

Joyce and Buffy stood there for a moment, saying and doing nothing as they watched each other. Joyce was totally confused as to why Buffy had just shown up like this. She didn't want Buffy knowing what had become of her parents. Since Buffy left, things had gotten much worse. She had slipped further into her alcohol habit and Hank had stopped cheating on her with his secretaries, only he switched to prostitutes and picked up a gambling problem instead. He had met the wrong people and gambled away everything they had within two months.

The abuse had never stopped either. She had gotten good at covering the bruises with expensive make-up and airbrushes, but since Hank had gambled everything away, she didn't have the money to cover it anymore. He seemed to be miserable about everything lately, and took it out on her. She wanted to leave him, but he is all she has. He is all she has ever had, aside from Buffy. Buffy... She lost her too. She had never been there for her and she was paying for it now. She never meant to push her away, but Joyce wasn't ready to be a mother when Buffy was born, so she never tried to be one. Now that Joyce needed someone to help her through these hard times, she had no one.

Joyce reacted on instinct. She wrapped her hand around Buffy's wrist and pulled her to the car she had driven up in. She shoved Buffy into the side of the car and pointed toward the man Buffy had shown up with. "Take him, and leave. Now." She said sternly, but on the inside begging Buffy to listen to her.

"Why? Too afraid I will see what you both have become? Afraid that I might have turned out better than you?" Buffy spat and walked over toward Spike. "We are staying. I want to talk to you and dad." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Buffy, I am telling you this to protect you. Go. Leave and don't look back."

Buffy let out a very unwomanly snort. "Protect me? Are you serious? Do you even know what that word means? You have never protected me or even cared what was happening to me, why start now?"

Joyce looked down at her feet in shame. Her daughter was right. She never protected Buffy from anything. She left that up to the nannies and the maids. But even though she hadn't said it very often to Buffy, she still felt it. "Because I love you, and I don't want to see you go through this." Joyce said pleadingly as she looked at her feet. It was one of the few times she had ever said it to Buffy, but this time she actually let the feeling show in her words.

Buffy stiffened up a bit, but relaxed when Spike placed a hand on her lower back. "Could have fooled me." She laughed and shrugged Spike's hand off of her, not wanting to be touched. "You never did anything that wouldn't benefit you, Mother. You would you protect me, when it does nothing for you? Why would you love me if it does nothing for you?"

Before Joyce had a chance to answer her, the front door was open and Hank came out onto the steps. "What the hell is going on...?" He looked over at Buffy and an evil smile crept across his face. "Well, well what do we got here?" He asked and took a step closer to her. "What did you come back for? I figured you and Angel would be living the high life by now." He laughed and took another step toward her.

Buffy just stood there, refusing to let him know that she was nervous. "Hi, Dad. I just came back to you know... talk." She put her hands on her hips and nodded toward the door. "You going to invite me in?"

"Sure, come on in. Have a drink with your father." He turned to go inside the house and everyone else followed.

Joyce placed her hand on Spike's shoulder and turned him toward her. "If you care about Buffy at all, take her away from here and don't ever let her come back."

Spike wanted to do just that, he did not like Hank at all. He seemed so cold. Like he didn't care about anyone or anything beside himself. He just gave out this predator vibe to Spike. He was not a good person and Spike wanted Buffy out. Knowing it was too late to get Buffy to leave, he placed his hand on top of Joyce's and smiled. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to her."

"That's not good enough!" She issued a quiet but stern warning and brushed passed him. She went to the top of the steps and turned around. "If she stays to long, he will hurt her. Not just emotionally."

Spike knew she was right. He knew that Hank would do something to hurt Buffy, and if not Buffy it would be Joyce later on. Judging by the bruises on Joyce's neck and under her eye, it didn't take much to set him off. Now extremely worried about what was to come, he sighed and walked into the trailer.

~~**~~**

"So, how did you guys meet?" Hank asked as he poured some beer into an obviously reused plastic cup, then handed it to Spike.

"In a park. I was singing... Spike saw me and took me out to dinner." She lied. Spike gave her a disapproving look but she just wanted to prove to her parents that she could live without them, even if it meant lying to them about how she got to where she was today.

"That's about the gist of it, mate." Spike smiled and took a sip of the cheap beer he had been served.

"Well that's nice. I'm glad you could stop by, Buffy. It was nice catching up!" Joyce smiled and tried to pull Buffy up and out of the door.

"Now, now, Joyce. She can stay longer. I don't mind my little girl over for a visit." He sent Joyce an evil smile and she sighed and sat down.

Buffy inwardly cringed and reached for Spike's hand, giving it a little squeeze. "I wanted to talk to you actually." She turned and looked toward Spike. "Can you give us a minute, hun? Wait outside for me, till I call you back in?" She noticed Spike's eyes widen and she kissed him quietly and gave him a hug. "I will be fine, if I need you I will call." She whispered in his ear.

"Alright, I will be just outside. Nice to meet you two." He said with a smile and set his beer down on the table, not wanting anymore of it and left.

"So what's with the back up, Buff? Think I can't take him?" Hank said and went into the kitchen, looking for a chunk of ice to put in his beer.

"You touch him, and I will never forgive you," She tilted her head to the ceiling and thought for a moment. "Not that I forgave you for anything before."

"Oh come on, do you seriously think that I wanted you around anyway? You were an inconvenience to us... nothing more than something I could show off at corporate parties. Now that I no longer work there, there is really no reason for you to be here." Hank told her and sat down beside Joyce, placing his hand on her leg in a sexual manner. "I have better things to _do._"

"Ugh, Dad! That is so wrong, on so many different levels." She said and stood up. "But back to the point. Did you ever stop and think that I never wanted you guys for parents? Maybe I was the one that was inconvenienced?" She stopped in front of her parents and pointed to both of them. "You both suck at being parents. I resent you both! You never did anything for me and you never will. I don't need you, either of you." She said and took a step back from them.

"How dare you disrespect your mother like that? She gave birth to you!" Hank said and stood up, coming face to face with his daughter.

"Yeah, she may have given birth to me... but she was never my mother. And how can you say that I disrespect her with my words, when you disrespect her with your fists?" Buffy screamed at her father.

That was enough to do it; Joyce was terrified for her daughter's life now. She was frozen, watching Hank put his hands around Buffy's neck and lift her up off the ground. She watched as her daughter struggled for breath as his hand continually constricted around her neck.

"Now I don't have only her to hit, now do I?" He spat, an evil smile spreading across his face. "Now that I have both of you in the same house, why not just end you both? Then that little boy you have out there." He said and punched Buffy, causing a bruise to form almost immediately around her eye.

"Sp—Spike!" She breathed, trying her hardest to call out for him.

Hank threw Buffy onto the couch, stalking over to her and lifted her back up and shaking her. "You think he really loves you? You think he will come save you now? You can't even call for him." He laughed, loving the fear and pain he was inflicting on her. He slapped her across the face and watched as the tears began to fill her eyes.

Buffy's tears spilled down her face and Joyce was pulled out of her daze. She quickly got up, dodging Hank's arm that shot out to stop her. She burst through the door and waved her arms at Spike. "Help! He is... Buffy!" She called out to him, frantically trying to get his attention.

Spike opened his car door, staring at Joyce. When she said Buffy needed him, he was on his way. He instantly dropped his smoke, jumped out of the car and ran toward the door. He swore if Buffy was hurt, someone was going to hurt twice as much. No one was allowed to hurt his girl and get away with it. He ran up the steps and threw open the door, running into the trailer and saw the thing he most feared about coming here.

"Buffy!" He called out and tackled her father around the middle. Successfully getting him to drop Buffy from his grasp.

He was seeing red.

Hank was going to pay.


	21. Chapter 21

_**"Buffy!" He called out and tackled her father around the middle. Successfully getting him to drop Buffy from his grasp.**_

_**He was seeing red.**_

_**Hank was going to pay.**_

Spike was now on top of Hank, straddling his chest, one hand round his neck and the other in a cocked back fist. "What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?" he asked and slammed his fist down against Hank's nose.

Buffy squealed and crawled away from the violence. She was still crying and clutching her throat trying to sooth the pain. Joyce was just standing there, in a daze, watching everything happening. She couldn't move, couldn't talk, couldn't think. It was like her body just pulled within itself as she watched everything transpire.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Hurting my girl like that?" Spike hollered in Hank's face. He punched him again and blood started pouring out of his nose.

"I'm the girl's father, you should respect me! I was giving her what she deserves! She is nothing but a dim-witted cheerleader who likes to sleep with filth like you!" Hank hollered back, clutching at Spike's hand around his neck as the grip tightened.

"You better fuckin' take that back! You will never know how great Buffy is, you useless piece of shit!" Spike stood up and pulled Hank up along with him, steadying him when he swayed. "You would know how great she is," punch to the face. "If you would have paid more," knee to the stomach. "Bloody attention to her! She is your," elbow to the chin. "Daughter for Christ's sake!"

Spike took a step back and Hank collapsed to the floor. He took it pretty bad; black eye that was similar to Joyce's, busted and bloody nose, split lip, and at least one cracked rib as Spike landed a kick while Hank was down. "How does it feel to be the victim?" Spike asked sarcastically, not really caring for the answer.

He turned around to Buffy and took a step forward. "Buffy..." His heart sunk when he reached out to touch her and she flinched. _**'**__Great, you big git! You made her come here and look what happens! I wouldn't be surprised if she leaves you.'_ he thought to himself as he kneeled down to be at eye level with his broken girl. "Buffy, luv, I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you," he promised. He moved toward her more slowly and took her in his arms. "There, now see? I love you. I won't let anything happen to you again, you hear me? I'm going to protect you no matter what."

Hank stirred, trying to push himself up but he crumpled back to the floor with a bitter laugh. "You really think she could love you, boy? She still loves that Angel guy." Hank coughed a bit and spit out some blood onto the ratty rug on the floor. "She will never love you."

"Shut your gob!" Spike shouted and brushed some of Buffy's hair out of her face. "Let's get out of here, pet, get you fixed up." He stood up and put one arm under her neck and one under neath her knees, cradling her to his chest as he made his way over to the door.

He stopped and turned around to Joyce, looking at her for a minute as she just stood there looking at her beaten husband. "Oi, Joyce. You wanna hitch a ride?" he asked her in a loud but caring voice trying not to frighten her.

She turned around and looked at Spike, giving him a nod she went to her room and packed up some things. She came back out with a black duffel bag and dropped it in front of the door then walked back over to Hank.

She dropped down beside him and gave him a shake. "Hey, you awake?" she asked. When she heard him grunt a muffled 'yeah', she fisted a bunch of his hair in her hand and lifted his head up a bit. Enough so he could look at her with his eye that wasn't swollen. "Good. I wanted to tell you something. I'm done. I'm through being your punching bag. I'm leaving you. As of this moment I am no longer your wife. You will get the divorce papers in the mail and I expect you to sign them and send them to my lawyer. See you in hell, asshole." She spat on him and stood up.

She walked a couple of steps then stopped and tilted her head in thought. _'After all the years he did it to you, why the hell not?' _She thought and turned back around, took the couple of steps closer to him then swiftly kicked him in the gut. He cringed and curled into a ball, coughing.

As of that moment, she was finally free. Not what was she going to do with said freedom?

With a look of confusion mixed with fear, she walked out of the trailer door and never looked back.

~~~~~***

***BACK AT THE HOTEL***

Buffy wanted to take a shower as soon as she had gotten inside the door. She ran from Spike's side and went straight to the bathroom, closing and locking the door. Buffy and Joyce had gotten into another fight inside the car. Joyce was trying to make amends and trying to be in Buffy's life again, but Buffy wanted nothing to do with her. She had had enough of the heartbreak from her mother. Now that she was on her own and doing fine, she didn't want her mother to finally try and be a mother. She should have thought about that when Buffy was a child, instead of a woman.

Joyce sat her duffel bag down and sat at the edge of the queen size bed. She didn't know exactly what to say to the man that had pretty much saved her from torment for the rest of her life. Thank you was not enough, but it was all she could give him.

Joyce turned toward the bathroom door when she heard the taps turn on and sighed. "She will come around, you know? Now that you want to try, she will be curious." Spike said, trying to comfort the lady.

"I don't know. I have done some pretty awful stuff to her in the past. Neglect, emotional abuse. I never laid a hand on her though." She frowned and looked up at her daughter's boyfriend. "Thank you. For everything. Saving Buffy and me and taking care of her. I will never forget that." She smiled and picked up her duffel bag. "Well, I best be off, get out of your hair." She walked towards the door and turned around again. "Thanks."

Spike watched as Joyce left. There was something he wanted to do, but he wasn't sure if he should. If Buffy ever found out, she wouldn't be to happy about it, but in the end his caring heart won out. He ran out of the door and called for her. "Wait! Please, take this." He said and fished his wallet out of his back pocket. He pushed a wad of money into her hand and closed her fingers around it. "Take it, I have more where that came from and you need it more than I do. I will talk to Buffy about you in a couple of months. See if she will call you up." He smiled and handed her one of his contact cards.

Joyce looked at the money, then up at the kind man in front of her. Her eyes started to fill with tears and she smiled. "Thank you. You really love her don't you?" She asked as she put the card and money and in her pocket, never taking her eyes off of his.

"Yeah, I really do." He smiled then turned around and went back into the room.

Fifteen minutes later, the shower was still going and Spike was getting really worried. He stood up and went over to the door and put his ear up to it. Like the first time she locked herself in the bathroom at his house, she was talking to herself. But this time he couldn't hear her as well because of the shower going. He was even more worried now, so he knocked on the door. "Buffy? Can you let me in, luv?" he asked and waited for her to respond. She kept mumbling to herself so he went to the dresser and picked up one of her bobby pins and tried to pick the lock.

He heard the telltale click and then he stood up again. "Buffy, I'm coming in okay? Don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you." He slowly opened the door and a big cloud of hot steam came out. He walked into the bathroom and noticed her standing by the mirror. She was just standing there, mumbling and staring at her foggy reflection, her hair was wet and she was wrapped in a towel but water was still dripping off of her.

She raised her hand and wiped the fog off the mirror, looking at her clear reflection for the first time. A small hand came up and she traced the bruise around her eye while the other prodded the bruises around her neck. "Why did I let him do this to me? I was so scared I didn't defend myself. Why would my own father hit me? Why..." she burst into tears and started to fall to the floor.

Spike reacted on instinct and caught her before she hit the floor and bruised her body further. He didn't know what to say as the guilt flooded his body. He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer to his body as he rocked them back and forth.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I shouldn't have made you come back." He said as he rocked her. "He is a bad man. He doesn't deserve you in his life. I took care of it; he won't be bothering you anymore. I promise." He whispered and pushed a damp piece of hair away from her face. "Look at me, Buffy." he asked softly.

She turned and looked at him and put her hand on his face. He smiled down at her and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I'm going to take care of you. I love you."

"I know. I love you, too. I'm so tired. Can we rest now?" she asked as her eyelids fluttered shut.

Spike picked her up and carried her to the bed and laid her down gently, pulling the blanket up around her shoulders. He went the other side and settled in beside her. He pulled her into his arms and watched her sleep until he too, fell into a restless sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Spike woke up first. His stomach was growling and his clothes were binding him. He stripped off his shirt and sighed as the cool hair hit his chest. Feeling Buffy squirm, he looked toward her and put his hand on her cheek. "You awake, pet?"

She nodded and let out a small sigh. "Sorry about 'Breakdown Buffy' last night. I should have reacted better." She frowned and moved closer to put her head on his shoulder.

Spike looked at her confused and arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean? Breaking down after what you went through is nothing to be ashamed of. You don't need to be strong all the time. I'm here to help you carry your burdens." He rubbed her upper arm. "You must be a little cold, you went to bed naked and wet. Do you want me to get you some clothes?"

"But I thought you would want me to be naked and wet," she pouted.

"That I do, luv. But I want you healthy and not sick, too. Unless you have other ideas..." He smiled and pushed her on her back, settling himself on top of her. "I'm _up_ for it."

"I can tell," she giggled and thrust her hips up into his erection. "I want you to do something for me. I want you to fuck me, Spike."

She didn't give him time to answer her. She lifted her head up and captured his lips in an anything but chaste kiss. He groaned against her lips and she devoured him. But this time, she wanted to try something new. She pushed him off of her until he was on his knees and smiled at him when he looked down at her. "I want you to take me from behind." She told him as she got on her hands and knees, wiggling her bum and looking at him over her shoulder in a seductive smile. "You would like that too, wouldn't you?"

He moaned when she pushed herself back into his throbbing erection. "I would bloody well love that, pet." He put a hand on one of her ass cheeks and gave a little squeeze as his other hand stroked himself. "Maybe one day, I could try to persuade you into letting me fuck you in your nice little bum," he said and laughed when she 'eeped' and quickly sat up straight so her back was to his chest.

"Not any time soon, buster!" she scolded then went back to her previous position.

"You ready for me now, Buffy?" He asked and took hold of her hip with one hand and guided the tip of his cock to her entrance with the other.

She moaned and nodded as he pushed the tip in a little. Taken over with desire, she forced herself back on him, taking him all in with one thrust. They both gasped at the sensation and stilled their movements. After he let her adjust to his size, he started to rock his hips against her, sending him deeper within her core. She moaned and put her head against the pillow, fisting the sheets with her hands.

He pulled all the way out then thrust back in her hard causing her to almost scream and arch her back. "Damn, do that again!" She moaned and looked up at him over her shoulder.

"You like that?" He asked as he did the same thing over again. "You like it when I take you hard and fast?" He repeated the movement and then leaned over so he could feel her skin under his.

He kept his rhythm up and she slipped her hand underneath to play with her clit, hoping he wouldn't notice. But of course, he did. He wasn't going to stop her though; it just served to heighten his arousal more. He straightened his back and slammed into her as she continued to play with her self.

"Holy uh... Fuck me, Spike! Faster!... Oh God!" she moaned as she felt the beginning of her orgasm build.

He quickened his pace and squeezed her ass cheeks in his hands "God, I love your bum.. I love your pussy.. I love everything about you, woman. You drive me insane!" He groaned as he felt her walls fluttering around him, pulling him deeper inside her as he emptied his load.

They both collapsed on the bed, sweating and out of breath. "Dear God, that was amazing," she told him when she had caught her breath.

"You can say that again," he smiled.

"Dear God, that was amazing," she giggled.

Their stomachs growled simultaneously and they both looked at each other and laughed. "You want to go out and get some breakfast?" he asked her as they cuddled. "After a nice shower, of course."

"No," she frowned and looked down at their feet. "I don't want people to see my face right now. You can go though," she said and turned away from him so she could get out to get dressed.

"I'm not going anywhere without you. We will just call room service."

"Sounds good. Then we can have a shower."

They smiled at each other and he dialed the phone number to the hotel staff and ordered them some breakfast.

After they dressed for breakfast, they sat on the chairs by the window with the TV on the music channel. Buffy hadn't really told him that she appreciated what he did for her yesterday so she tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up from his paper and tilted his head. She sighed and lowered her gaze to her feet again, not knowing where to begin.

Finally, she raised her eyes to look at him and smiled sweetly. "I never really... you know, about yesterday... it was a bad day and I never really thanked you for helping me, when you didn't need to. And I wanted to tell you that... well, thanks." Buffy blushed and started to play with her hands in her lap.

He got up and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his. "No need to thank me, Buffy. I was just doing the right thing. I couldn't just stand by and let you get hurt like that. I will protect you from anyone and anything. Till' the end of the world," he smiled and kissed her both of her hands.

"I love you, you know that right?" she said and let a stray tear roll down her cheek.

He wiped it away with his thumb and smiled. "Yeah, I know. You can't resist my English and manly charms." Spike laughed as Buffy scoffed, lightly slapping him on the shoulder. There was a knock on the door and he stood up, kissing her on the forehead before he turned around. "I love you, too."

He went over to the door and opened it up. A guy no older than Buffy was standing on the other side with a cart of food. "Here is your breakfast, sir," he said and Buffy's head snapped up.

"Holy shit!" the guy said and he ran over to Buffy. "What the hell happened to you?!" he asked and took her chin in his hand.

"Oi! Get away from..." Spike was cut off by Buffy's barely audible whisper.

"Angel?"


	23. Chapter 23

"_**Oi! Get away from..." Spike was cut off by Buffy's barely audible whisper. **_

"_**Angel?"**_

Spike stopped dead in his tracks and watched the awe play over Buffy's face. _'You have GOT to be kidding me!'_ He thought as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"Yeah, baby. I'm here now. Did this guy do this to you?" he asked as he peppered kisses over Buffy's bruises.

Buffy pushed Angel away from her and scowled at him. "No! He didn't and you have no right to kiss me! What the hell are you doing?" She told him as Spike released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He wanted to leave the couple alone but he didn't want to let Buffy go that easy either. He stood in place and crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't going to leave unless Buffy told him to, and even then he would only leave because he wants her to be happy. "Buffy, do you need anything?" he asked softly.

"No. I'm going to step out into the hallway, okay? I need to talk to Angel." She walked over to Spike and kissed him, an act of reassurance and love. Spike was still nervous about it though. "Don't worry, hun. He won't hurt me. Not physically anyway." She said and gave him a hug.

Angel followed her out of the door and instantly bombarded her with questions. "Are you okay? Do you need me to call the police? Is he abusing you? Why are you with a guy like him anyway? Who did that to you? Buffy, you need to --"

"Holy jeez, man. Calm the hell down! I am fine, no you don't need to call the police, he is not abusing me, I am with him because I love him and my father did this to me," she answered and pointed to her bruises. "Now I want you to tell me why the hell you are here?!"

"Well.. I kind of work here. I thought that was obvious."

"Yeah, I figured that part out. But I mean here.. in Sunnydale, here."

"I came back a month after I left you. I missed you and I wanted you back. I've missed you Buffy. I want to try again. Since your dad is out of the picture, we can be together without any fights!" He smiled and tried to pull him closer to him.

She pushed him away from her and laughed at him. "You think I want to be with you after I've been with him?" she said and pointed back at the door and faintly heard Spike snicker. "I love him and he has made me happier than you _ever_ have. Why did you leave me anyway? You at least owe me that much."

"Uhm... I don't think you want to know the answer to that," he said and shifted his eyes, not wanting to look at her.

She grabbed his chin with her hand and forced him to look at her. "Tell. Me. Now." She commanded.

"Fine! Let go!" he said and pulled his chin out of her grasp and took two steps back. "Yourdadpaidmetoleaveyou," he said quickly, trying to not let her hear.

"Say that again? I didn't quite catch it." She took a step closer.

"Your dad paid me to leave you," he said somberly and looked at his feet, ashamed.

"Oh! Really! Okay, let me get this straight. My dad paid you to leave me, so you left. And then you see me again and all of a sudden you expect me to jump in your arms and everything is alright?! I don't think so! What did you run out of money? How much was I worth anyway?" she asked and opened the door so Spike could come out into the hallway too, knowing that he had heard the whole conversation anyway.

"Buffy, I don't think you need to know that either. Look, I will just go and we can forget this ever happened, okay? So I will just be going no." Angel rambled and tried to turn around.

Spike shot his arm out and took hold of Angel's arm and turned him around. "I believe she asked you a question, mate. Better answer her," he said in a scary monotone voice.

"Three grand."

Before Angel, or even Spike knew what happened, Angel was laying flat on his back and holding his jaw. "Holy fuck, Buffy! You hit me!" he said and scrambled away from her.

"Get the hell away from me, Angel. I don't ever want to see you again, you hear me?! I swear I will do a lot worse then that if I do." She told him and walked through the door with Spike right behind her.

Angel got up from his spot on the floor and rubbed his jaw. He regretted his decision to leave her even more then he did when Hank had made the offer. He looked at the door with the love of his life on the other side with another man and shook his head in shame. "Idiot," he said to himself and slowly walked away.

As soon as Buffy shut the door she turned around and attacked Spike with kisses. "Not that I don't mind... But why all the kisses?" Spike asked between said kisses.

"Nothing... I'm just a little happy. I feel better now; I have no parents holding me back, my ex-asshole gave me his reason to leaving me and I have you. Nothing can make this any better." She smiled and jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him again. This time she slipped her tongue in to play with his.

Her stomach growled and she pulled back. "Well... maybe one thing could make this better." She giggled and rubbed her hot center on his hard cock.

"You want to go again, pet?" He growled and started to kiss her neck.

"Nah..." She giggled and jumped down from his waist. "I was thinking more along the lines of: Food equals yummy goodness!"

"Tease!" He hollered and swatted her bum.

Buffy squealed and jumped up onto the bed as Spike rolled the cart of breakfast over to her. "Can we leave tonight? Go back to New York?" she asked as she pulled her plate of 'yummy goodness' closer to her.

Spike picked up his own plate and settled in beside her. "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing too." He smiled and dug in.

~~~~~**

**THE NEXT DAY**

They drove back from the airport and jumped out of Spike's car. They stood in the parking lot of his apartment building in silence for a minute, breathing in the city air. Buffy reached out and took hold of his hand and they smiled at each other. "Home sweet home," he said and kissed her.

She jumped up and wrapped her legs around him and giggled as he twirled her around. When he stopped and jumped down and smiled up at him. "Yeah, I agree."

And she did feel at home. For the first time she was loved, accepted and cared for. She couldn't ask for anything more. They had both moved on from their pasts and were both embracing their futures. Together.


	24. Epilogue

_~Epilogue One year later~_

Buffy walked into the homeless shelter that she and Spike had just bought on the opposite side of the city from Anne's. She put a big box of donated clothes on the table and giggled when Spike wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"We open up tomorrow, luv," he said and brought his hands up to cup her breasts. "Want to have a go here before all the kids come in?" he whispered huskily in her ear.

"Spike! No, wait till we get home. I have things I need to do before we open!" She giggled and swatted his hands away so she could turn around and kiss him. "I can't believe how far we have come! I'm so happy. You saved me." She smiled and kissed him again.

"This is only the beginning," he said and took her hand. "I want to show you something." He led her out to his car and drove them to the park where they first met.

Leading her over to the tree, there was his amp and guitar and a small group of teens from Anne's shelter.

Anne stood up and hugged Spike. "I'm proud of you. Go get your girl," she whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek. Anne went to stand by Buffy and Spike went under the tree.

"This song, I wrote for my beautiful girlfriend. I hope you enjoy it, Buffy." He smiled and picked up his guitar.

He took a deep breath and started to strum. Feeling the song rush over him, he started to sing.

_We can almost see it  
That dream we're dreaming but  
There's a voice inside my head sayin,  
You'll never reach it,  
Every step we're taking,  
Every move I make feels  
Lost with no direction  
My faith was shaking but We  
Got to keep trying  
Got to keep our head held high_

_There's always going to be another mountain  
We're always going to want to make it move  
Always going to be an uphill battle,  
Sometimes we are going to have to lose,  
Ain't about how fast we get there,  
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side  
It's the climb_

Buffy couldn't take her eyes off of him. He wrote this song... everything that they had been through in the first few months of their relationship. The ups and the downs came back; what happened, what they felt and how they handled it. She smiled up at him and mouthed 'I love you' to him and swayed to the sweet song.

_The struggles we're facing,  
The chances we're taking  
Sometimes they knock us down but  
No we're not breaking  
You may not know it  
But these are the moments that  
I'm going to remember most yeah  
Just got to keep going  
And you and I,  
We got to be strong  
Just keep pushing on, cause_

There's always going to be another mountain  
We're always going to want to make it move  
Always going to be an uphill battle,  
Sometimes we are going to have to lose,  
Ain't about how fast we get there,  
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side  
It's the climb

He smiled at her and winked. He could never get enough of her. She was going to be his. She was going to be his wife. He couldn't picture it any other way. They had been through hell and back and they were still strong. He loved her more than anything and that was never going to change.

_There's always going to be another mountain  
We're always going to want to make it move  
Always going to be an uphill battle,  
Sometimes we are going to have to lose,  
Ain't about how fast we get there,  
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side  
It's the climb__Keep the faith baby  
It's all about  
It's all about  
The climb  
Keep the faith  
Keep your faith_

Keep on moving  
Keep climbing

He finished the song and Buffy ran up to him and attacked him with her lips as the Anne and her teens clapped for him. "That... was... beautiful." She told him in between kisses.

"There is more." He told her and gently pushed her away for a moment and got down on one knee before her. "Buffy... 23 years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy. Will you be my wife?" he asked and held out a beautiful silver ring with a diamond in the middle and two smaller diamonds on each side.

"I... I don't know what to say," she said, overly shocked and happy at the same time. She totally didn't expect this.

"Just say yes, and make me the happiest man in the world."

"Yes! My answer is yes!" she said and jumped up and down, happy tears flowing down her cheeks.

She settled down and allowed Spike to pick her up and spin her around as the clutched at each other. The group behind them erupted into applause once again as the laughed and kissed each other.

"Take me home, Spike." She told him and he carried her back to the car, leaving his equipment with Anne to take to her place for the night.

He had to give his fiancé a good seeing to.

~~~~~**

Joyce stepped back into her house after she finished her tea on the porch and locked the door behind her. She was finally free. Hank had found her once and told her he was going to kill her, but she called the cops before he could do anything to her and he was put away in jail for domestic violence for the last 10 years and attempted murder. She wouldn't be seeing him again.

She went up the stairs and turned into the first door and smiled at the sleeping little girl. About a week after she got settled into her apartment that Spike helped her out with, she found out that she was pregnant with Hank's child again. Instead of getting an abortion, she decided that the baby could be like her second try. Her second chance at being a mother.

She smiled widely and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Dawn," she whispered and walked to her own room.

She had her own house, an art gallery down the road, a beautiful baby girl, and an nice life ahead of her. This time, she wasn't going to screw it up.

She took her earrings out and placed them on her dresser. She still hadn't talked to Buffy, but Spike called her once a month to give her updates about what was going on in their lives. Joyce looked at the picture of Spike and Buffy that he had sent her a while back and teared up. She kissed her fingers and blew it at the picture. Everything that led her to where she was now, she owed it all to them.

**THE END**

**The song is not mine! I changed some of the lyrics to fit the story better but all the credit goes to Miley Cyrus - The Climb. **

**Yup, that is the end, folks! I would love to hear what you have to say about the story and the ending, or if you need anything cleared up, just ask! Thanks for following and thanks to those of you who reviewed. My betas were CallMeKitten, Immortal_Angel08, PaganBaby and Katie Throp so a big thanks to them too!! Hope you all enjoyed and remember to review! *hugs for all***


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